Sorry, but I'm looking for a character or situation that interests me. This sets a location for the story, but the story hasn't started yet. I'd move on.
I'm with Krizzly on this one. I like the imagery, and would likely give it a paragraph or two to see where it goes and if the characters are introduced.
Like Jodi and Sandra say, opening lines seem like they must hint at character or plot in media res. Of course there are exceptions, but if you want your work to stand out, it's probably best to start things that way. Setting is an essential component that can be worked in later. Your sentences are good, but they can come once we have a better sense of what we're in for.
Not hooked. It's hard for the first 25 words to be the only judge and for those to be descriptive only, but "echoing silence" "sun" that does "little to warm" cancels everything out. I imagine a pretty picture of mountains that's neither quiet nor loud, cold nor warm. No hooks for me.
Sorry, but I'm looking for a character or situation that interests me. This sets a location for the story, but the story hasn't started yet. I'd move on.
ReplyDeletePretty title.
ReplyDeleteI love setting, but I'm not a fan of starting with it. Kind of generic.
Semi-hooked. Will read the rest of the paragraph to see what the story is about. I'm a sucker for imagery.
ReplyDeleteI'm with Krizzly on this one. I like the imagery, and would likely give it a paragraph or two to see where it goes and if the characters are introduced.
ReplyDeleteLike Jodi and Sandra say, opening lines seem like they must hint at character or plot in media res. Of course there are exceptions, but if you want your work to stand out, it's probably best to start things that way. Setting is an essential component that can be worked in later. Your sentences are good, but they can come once we have a better sense of what we're in for.
ReplyDeleteI'm OK with this. It's only 25 words, after all, and they are nicely put together. I'll say hooked.
ReplyDeleteAll description, no perspective. Not hooked.
ReplyDeleteI’d give a few more sentences to draw me in, but I’d need some action soon
ReplyDeleteNot hooked. It's hard for the first 25 words to be the only judge and for those to be descriptive only, but "echoing silence" "sun" that does "little to warm" cancels everything out. I imagine a pretty picture of mountains that's neither quiet nor loud, cold nor warm. No hooks for me.
ReplyDeleteStarting with setting is very tricky. If it isn't great, you won't hook many. This is well written, but not great.
ReplyDeleteThis is a lovely passage, but I agree with the concern that we get no sense of conflict, tension, or characters. Not yet hooked ...
ReplyDeleteI like the imagery, but I want to know where the character is. I'd probably read a few more paragraphs before deciding for certain.
ReplyDeleteI like the idea of silence echoing. I'd read on, but I'd need a character within a sentence or two.
ReplyDeleteLovely, clear, not hooky; all good in my opinion. I'd read on.
ReplyDeleteI want people! I want action!
ReplyDeleteEh. I might read on, but I really want a character very early on.
ReplyDeleteStrong beginning sentence. Like the title. Hooked.
ReplyDeleteNo hooked even though the title sounded interesting. The scenery description comes across as generic.
ReplyDeleteI tend to be drawn by characters doing something.
Nice visual, but it could be the start of pretty much any genre.
ReplyDeleteNot hooked, sorry. I like the title, but I'm not taken with pure descriptive openings.
ReplyDeleteNot hooked. It's pretty enough, but it's basically just the weather.
ReplyDelete