The first time I saw a Cursed, I’d just turned fourteen. The elders kept us inside the caves most the time, but that day, I could feel the beckoning of the sun.
Almost hooked--I love post-apoc and I'm intrigued what a Cursed is, but something feels a bit too stiff about the voice to pull me in completely. I'd read on a bit to find out what's going on, though.
Should it be 'most of the time'? I felt like you missed a word there. But I'd read on, if only to find out what a cursed is. I'm imagining a person in dirty hooded robes with sores on them...
Hooked. I'd keep reading to find out more.
ReplyDeleteHooked!
ReplyDeleteHooked. Definitely want to know what's going on.
ReplyDeleteHooked.
ReplyDeleteHooked!
ReplyDeletebut that day, the sun beckoned me... Saves you four words.
ReplyDeleteI'd read more to see what happened. I think I'm hooked.
ReplyDeleteHooked
ReplyDeleteHooked.
ReplyDeleteI like this. Sets the scene, curious about what a Cursed is. Hooked.
ReplyDeleteInteresting... I'd read on.
ReplyDeleteAlmost hooked--I love post-apoc and I'm intrigued what a Cursed is, but something feels a bit too stiff about the voice to pull me in completely. I'd read on a bit to find out what's going on, though.
ReplyDeleteNicely done. I'd read on.
ReplyDeleteShould it be 'most of the time'? I felt like you missed a word there. But I'd read on, if only to find out what a cursed is. I'm imagining a person in dirty hooded robes with sores on them...
ReplyDelete