Tuesday, June 25, 2019

Pitch for the Win #38 - MG Historical

TITLE: The Beatles Fan
GENRE: MG Historical Fiction

THE BEATLES FAN, is a coming of age story, about a Jewish boy living in the 1960’s who learns a family secret. It drives him to search for his brother with a little help from his friends and his love of The Beatles. Gordon Cohen’s running away is fueled by the desire to have a brother to look up to. But also, to know how his father had a son, and just left him.


  1. As someone who is old enough to have seen the Beatles perform live (when all four were living!!) I can relate to coming-of-age stories that involve the Fab Four. In fact a new film called Yesterday is breaching into the moviesphere right now. Their influence is timeless. I suggest that your pitch might give more of a hint about how the Beatles (or his Beatles fandom) actually spur Gordon on to find his brother. The third and fourth sentences of your pitch could be given up to exploring that concept - offer a hint about how the Beatles provide Gordon's inspiration and motivation to go and look for his sibling. Yeah, yeah, yeah!

    1. Yes, your right. Thanks, Vanzo. I do need to focus on The Beatles in Gordon's life because they play a huge role in the story. Lucky you to see them live. I certainly watched a lot of live performances on TV and especially their first on the Ed Sullivan Show. The brother Gordon is searching for is also a huge Beatles fan and actually wins a contest to see the Beatles live on Ed Sullivan. It was fun writing that scene in the book. Unfortunately for Gordon it's at the same time he arrives in Florida to find him. Anyway, it's a complicated story. Thanks for your input.

  2. I'd suggest sticking with the format: When this happens, Gordon does this, but that leaves him with this terrible predicament (i.e. what happens if he fails) because that mimics the novel's structure and subtly says, "I know how to write." In this pitch, we're missing what happens if he fails.

  3. I tried using the format - if you happen to check back, please let me know if this works better. I appreciate your feedback.

    In 1963, twelve- year-old Gordon Cohen, spent his last quarter on a Beatles record the same day he lost his math review book. Searching for change in his Dad's dresser to buy a new one, he learns a family secret. His dad had another kid. He runs away to find his brother. But what happens if Marty doesn't want to meet him, and if he doesn't know they share the same father. It could destroy both of their families.

  4. That works better, imo, but I'd leave brother's name out & probably also the bit about being unaware. It confuses things. Still not sure how unaware brother's ignorance could destroy both families? But I do think this structure works better.

  5. I agree with the above comments, but would also suggest making the conflict clearer. What is the MC losing and gaining?

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