Tuesday, June 25, 2019

Pitch for the Win #1 - Cozy Mystery

TITLE: Killer Competition - A Killer Dogz Mystery
GENRE: Adult Cozy Mystery

Lexie and Emma proprietors of Killer Dogz, a gourmet hot dog restaurant, swear their food didn’t kill their competition and the Mayor’s no good brother-in-law.

With most of Fairhaven, Ohio, avoiding their restaurant, Lexie is desperate to save her business. To do that, Lexie will need to fit finding a killer around carpool but if she isn’t careful, she may be the killer’s next victim.


  1. I love relaxing with a good cozy! Which is kind of weird when you think about it- reading about murder relaxes me? But I guess we all have a little Nancy Drew (or in my case, Scooby Doo) in us. Which brings us to Killer Dogz! Love the premise, as this is right up my reading alley, and your pitch is really close to being perfect. Some things needs to be cleared up for me, like are the murdered competitor and the no-good BIL one and the same, or separate victims? And while I adore the carpool comment, it's not worded quite right. (And why can I see this in the work of others, yet glaring mistakes in my own could trip me and I'd still miss them?) Here's my try (77 words, sorry): "Lexie and Emma, proprietors of the gourmet hot dog restaurant Killer Dogz, swear their food didn't kill the mayor's no-good brother-in-law, their main competitor. True or false, the rumors are killing their business, so Lexie vows to clear their name, if she can find time to play amateur sleuth between work, kids, and carpool. But the killer doesn’t want to be found, so each clue she finds brings Lexie one step closer to being the next victim.”

  2. Carpool really stopped me...probably needs a minor tweek. But I love that she has to work around carpool duties and running the restaurant. Lastly, what is Emma's role in the sleuthing? Great premise, would read your MS. Good luck!

  3. For this short of a pitch, you might decide which is more important in the story, the death of the competition or the brother-in-law. I really can't understand the carpool sentence. Does being part of the carpool reveal more clues? Is a fellow carpooler a suspect? Whatever the case, it would be best to reword or replace the sentence with something that tells us how the tension rachets up.

  4. This sounds fun! Here are my two cents: when you say they swear their food didn't kill whoever, I thought they were the suspects. Since they're the MC, maybe something like, "are sure their food didn't kill ..." or "know their food didn't kill ..." Second, I didn't understand the carpool thing, and it threw me a bit.
    Sounds like a fun story, though!

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