We've talked about dorky dialogue and rambly dialogue and the importance of using dialogue to move a story forward. Now let's put it into practice!
It's been a while since we've had a Talking Heads critique round. Here's the deal:
* Submit up to 400 words of MOSTLY DIALOGUE.
* Include a one- or two-sentence lead-in (no more than 40 words) to help ground the reader.
* WIPs and completed manuscripts are both welcomed. (Please proofread.)
* The submission window will be open TODAY from noon to 4:00 pm EDT.
* All genres except erotica will be accepted.
* Submit HERE.
* This will be a lottery. The bot will choose 15 entries, which will post tomorrow.
Here's what your submission should look like:
Gavin has just discovered that Loo isn't a runaway squire after all, but is actually a girl. And he's furious.
"What are you playing at?" Gavin couldn't take his eyes off the curve of breasts rounding out the strip of fabric Loo had grabbed to cover himself. Herself.
Loo's cheeks were scarlet. "I can explain."
"Even your voice is different. You've been faking that, too?"
"Sort of."
"And I fell for this?" He aimed the question at himself. "I actually thought...and..."
"Would you mind if I got dressed?"
Gavin's pulse slammed against his temples. "Would I mind? Did you mind every time I took a piss by a tree while you ate your dinner? Did you mind when I came out of the lake buck naked after a good bath?" He ran his fingers through his hair. "My gods. And I wondered why you never wanted to bathe with me. Where was my head?"
(Okay. You get the idea.)
Questions below!
You always include the best stuff in your examples. It makes me wish you'd write this whole book!
ReplyDeleteOh, Abbe, you just made me giggle! Thanks for that. :)
ReplyDeleteThat. Example. Was. Awesome!
ReplyDeleteWhere's the rest??? :)
Well, thanks! :)) Okay, I am officially affirmed for the day.
ReplyDeleteSeriously- could we at least have the rest of the scene?
ReplyDeleteLOL! You guys! It was seriously off the top of my head. Now you're making me WANT to write the rest of the scene!
ReplyDeleteI have to agree, that *was* an awesome example. :)
ReplyDeleteLooking forward to this! Thanks for hosting these.
Here's another vote for you writing the rest of the scene. ;)
ReplyDeleteI'm a sucker for the girl disguised as a guy thing, anyway -- I still remember the fantasy I had about that (inspired by a movie I liked) when I was seven years old!
Did this contest close an hour early, or can I just not tell time?
ReplyDeleteI think it closed early.
ReplyDeleteWhy is this closed???
ReplyDeleteHey, I was just about to enter...
ReplyDeleteme too :(
ReplyDeleteSo sorry!!! I've reopened it. My mistake!!
ReplyDelete(I suck at math...)
YAY!!!! Thank you :)
ReplyDeleteIt still says it's closed?
ReplyDeleteTry now!
ReplyDeleteOk it's open! Thank you so much.
ReplyDeleteThanks, Authoress!
ReplyDeleteYou're welcome! Sorry about that. :(
ReplyDeleteThanks so much! My first entry ever!
ReplyDelete