Thursday, March 25, 2010

51 Regency Romance

TITLE: A Tale of Two Sisters
GENRE: Regency Historical Romance


William Battencliffe wagers five thousand pounds that Miss Julia St. Clair will become the next Countess of Clivesden.

Benedict's fingers constricted about the quill.

17 comments:

  1. I have to say this didn't really hook me. For me, there's a little too much going on - three names and a title all in the first 25 words. Since I like romance, I'd probably read on, but not because of this first bit.

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  2. I'm possibly hooked. I don't care for the title though.

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  3. Good Regency-styke writing. I like it.

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  4. Hmmmm....maybe a few more lines.

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  5. Hooked. This is well done and aligns with the genre, in my opinion.

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  6. Interesting start, but I'd also like to know who he's betting against - Julia herself? Benedict? or someone else? I'd read more to find out.

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  7. I like the title. But the second sentence confuses me... or well, loses me, I guess. Is there a better way to say he tightened his grip on the quill? Constricted just seems awkward for how someone would hold a pen.

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  8. I really like this. Definitely would read more.

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  9. Don't like the title. Tale of Two Cities. Too close.

    Hard to say on the rest. You really need a whole para before you can make a judgment on this. But I reckon in a paragraph I'd get the measure of whether I am hooked.

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  10. That's a lot of names. I might read on, but "Countess of Clivesden" sounds super-duper made up. So does Battencliffe. I'm sorry if they're not (if they are historical/actual family names), but they make me chuckle.

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  11. Not my genre. If I read this sort of thing, it might grab me a bit, but there isn't enough here to snag me as a new reader

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  12. I liked the opening sentence...and normally I don't like a lot of names at the beginning but this worked for me.

    The 2nd one killed it.

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