Thursday, March 25, 2010

70 Mystery

TITLE: Brinkerhoff
GENRE: Mystery


Lustro’s bare buttocks sank into the worn spot of the murderer’s leather davenport.

21 comments:

  1. Not...really hooked. Kind of weirded out.

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  2. Ha! I love this. I'd definitely keep reading.

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  3. spooky, but slimy...would probably read on for a page or two until totally grossed out

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  4. Could go either way. I do think you have some great details here in a few words, and they are both telling and creepy. If that's what you are going for, it works.

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  5. the '...bare buttocks...' did nothing for me, but the rest of the sentence made me sit up.

    Hooked

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  6. Um...huh? Not hooked.

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  7. i laughed at the word davenport. i'm confused. if this is supposed to be a cheeky (no pun intended) robert- downey- jr- as- sherlock- holmes type of mystery it could work. if not, the voice is awkward.

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  8. Mildly cringe-worthy, but stirring my curiousity. I'd give it a few pages.

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  9. Hooked. I'd read on, just to find out why he's nude.

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  10. Bare butt on a murderer's couch? Too odd.

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  11. well, I'm not sure. This could maybe be too weird, or it might be hilarious, depending on what comes next.

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  12. I'm a little freaked out by it...I'd have to read a bit more to see if I was going to read on. :)

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  13. ??? First, I thought of bistro for Lustro (maybe I've read too many 25 word beginnings) and then I can't tell if he's sitting or not, alive or dead. Too much confusion for 25 words. Sorry!

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  14. Hooked. My first reaction was eeeew, but I loved your choice of names. (I'm guessing Brinkerhoff is a name, and I liked Lustro, too) I din't know if you're going for campy humor or mystery/suspense, but I'm willing to go along for the ride.

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  15. Eeeeewwww!

    Not really hooked. A naked guy named Lustro? I'm just hoping it is BROWN leather.

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  16. This opening didn't work for me. It's kinda yukked me out.

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  17. While I'm intrigued at why he would be there, I'm not really hooked by this. I might read a little further, but not a lot unless something grabbed me.

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