commander, Kaminari, released him rather than executing him. Since then he's settled on a far flung planet with little connection to the rest of the galaxy, until Kaminari is brought to the colony's medic to be healed.
“You were a prisoner I thought, from the colonies, right? And you escaped?”
“That’s right.” He sat, staring at the door to Kaminari’s room. What would Miriam say if he finished the conversation, if he confessed to being Ajax Hajari? If he told Miriam that her patient was the infamous Kaminari?
Miriam continued on, oblivious to his distress. “You’re lucky Ajax Hajari was captured.”
“I am?” Jax asked without really listening. In his mind he pictured bonfires and witch-hunts.
“If Kaminari hadn’t been so busy with the Butcher of the Downs you never would have been able to escape..” He could feel her eyes watching him, could sense her anticipation of confession. “Right?”
“It wasn’t quite an escape,” Jax said. “It was something between a daring escape and the jailor throwing the doors open and telling me I cost to much to feed.”
“I can’t imagine Kaminari letting anyone go.”
“Kaminari is a difficult woman to imagine,” Jax said. He barely understood Kaminari, and he’d spent years trying to think like she did. But you couldn’t think like Kaminari because Kaminari didn’t seem to think. She just did. Every action seemed impulsive. But the results always seemed planned.
Miriam laughed nervously. “It’s not like I’m likely to meet her ever.”
“The chances of the average person meeting Kaminari are small,” Jax agreed, but he didn’t make eye contact. He was being overwhelmed with an unfamiliar sensation. He was afraid. For Kaminari. If Miriam knew who lay in her cot helpless….
Complicated. This is definitely one that loses something when taken out of context. Kaminari isn't involved in the conversation, but she's the one I care about. She sounds fascinating, and I'm worried along with Jax for her safety or exposure or whatever it is that concerns him. I can't tell enough from this excerpt to determine whether or not I'd want to read more.
ReplyDeleteAnything to do with Kaminari is complicated. She starts the book as the villian and this is where she starts to take over as the protagonist rather than the antagonist's henchwoman. But at least I have you worried for her :o) That's a step in the right direction.
ReplyDeleteI never read fantasy, it's not my taste and most on this site are.
ReplyDeleteThis is no offence. I find that I have to read the snippets (whoever writes them) five or six times. It's just not my thing.
Because of the genre I find it hard to empathize with the MC..
As I said before it's no reflextion on the writing. I have time getting past the character's names, positions etc.
Lol! It's sci-fi and I thought I was using fairly common names so there wouldn't be confusion.
ReplyDeleteKaminari, Miriam, and Jax are all very normal names! But 250 word snippets are always hard to work with....
(looks at Authoress)
Maybe next time we could add 200 more words?
I have to agree with you. I can write a short story of 250 words.. and have even done it in 100. However to extract something from a novel and try to make it co herent in 250 words.. is extremely difficult.
ReplyDeletePlease, it was nothing personal... I am not a sci fi reader either...
Thanks for posting.
Hmmm, I sort of do care about Jax from this, though it was a bit confusing at first getting into it. (But then again, I've been up since 3 am and make no guarantees on how well my brain is functioning. ;))
ReplyDeleteYeah, I'd read on.