"What's going on dear lady? Spill the beans." Larry waits for an answer. "Trish are you still there?"
"Yes, I'm here. I messed up royally and I don't think you'll ever forgive me."
"Well there aren't many things I wouldn't forgive. Did you fall in love with someone else?"
"No. That could never happen."
"Did you kill anyone?
"No." Larry's question causes me to giggle.
"So you think murder is funny? You have a serious problem! Larry lightens up the conversation.
"Is there anything else that would piss you off beyond forgiveness?"
"Nope, because death of love or life can't be fixed. Everything else can." I can hear Larry's smile through the phone.
"Okay, you made me feel better." I wipe the last tear from my eyes.
"Good, whatever it is we can deal with it, as long as it doesn't contain the word goodbye," Larry says cautiously.
"It absolutely doesn't." .
"Good. I'll try to get off work early. What time are you leaving?"
"Probably noon or so. That way I'll beat the rush hour traffic."
" I'll plan to leave work around, seven. It should get me home, right about the time you pull into my driveway. We'll get a bite to eat and then talk. Okay?"
"That sound good." .
" Get some sleep; you'll need it for the long drive home. Call me in the morning."
"Okay. I love you Larry."
"I love you too babe, goodnight."
"Nite." I hang up the phone, grab a fresh T-shirt, and head for the shower.
I think I need some background on this to understand it. Just reading through- I'm confused. She starts to confess something, but stops and then the momentum dies.
ReplyDeleteBy the end of the section I'm not hooked, just lost.
A lot of words here, but few thoughts or feelings. I couldn't understand what's going on. I'm not hooked enough to want to read more.
ReplyDeleteI do get a feel for the relationship between these two and for her relief at his reaction, but I agree that the tension is allowed to drop way too quickly, so there seems little point to reading on.
ReplyDeleteEr, I had trouble understanding what was going on and who was who and what the problem was. It was a bit confusing to me and I don't really have an idea of the MC and so don't really care.
ReplyDeleteThen again, I don't think this is the genre I normally read either, so take that with a grain of salt. ;)