TITLE: The Shadow Life
Lying is the bull**** I’ve built my life on. I’ve lied to everyone including myself. I’m learning that deceit has no respect of person, not even for my child – the only person I’ve ever been honest with. I want to be honest with her but in this situation, telling the truth to a seven year old only complicates things. They ask questions, they whine and then cry; the latter of which I’m not at all excited to experience. I’m on a tight time schedule, no room for anything extra.
I stand outside the doorway to her bedroom, hearing the clatter of glass hitting glass. When she isn’t busying herself with my makeup, I know I can find her playing with the set of perfume bottles I’d given her. Although they no longer hold the liquid fragrances, the scent lingers and that amazes her the most.
That’s how I find her, spinning in lazy circles in the middle of her room, spraying air from a bottle onto her small neck. Her hair’s pulled into a high ponytail, nails shine with red polish that matches the red Converse on her feet. Her small, chocolate heart-shaped face holds smudges of my rosy blush. I cringe when my eyes fall on the wide scraping of skin over her right eyebrow. It’s a fresh wound earned from a fall off her bike. My little girl, the most feminine tomboy I’m sure I’ll ever meet.
I stand there for a while, watching her dance around, wanting to relish these last moments.