TITLE:
GENRE: Secret
Quinn tested the bookend’s weight. It has potential, she decided.
She launched it across the room, her frustration fueling the throw. The bookend connected with the floor- to- ceiling mirror. A solid hit. Shards of glass splintered from the point of impact, but none fell to the floor.
Quinn bunched her fists. She could feel her molars grinding together. This was not what she had been hoping for. A weapon of some sort would have been nice but the Facility wouldn’t allow her to escape, not again.
“Wonderful,” she muttered to the room. “Can’t even let us throw a tantrum properly. Just great.” She raised her hands to the security camera dangling in the corner. “WHAT? AFRAID WE’LL OFF OURSELVES BEFORE YOU GET THE CHANCE? IS THAT IT?”
No response.
Not that she expected one. The next person she would see was her escort . And, oh buddy, that wasn't going to be a joyful interaction.
YA dystopian.
ReplyDeleteInteresting start. But I think you're telling us too much - and I mean "telling" in both TMI-for-right-now and telling-not-showing. For example, the "not again" at the end of the third graf is overkill right now. It's a cool fact to learn when the escort shows up, but to me it's a mood-killer as it stands. Likewise the first and third sentences of the all-caps shouting - they tell us what to think about what she's saying, rather than allowing you to show it through her gestures and feelings. She seems to have a self-mocking sense of humor, but you're not letting us discover it by bracketing it with the extra words.
Which is too bad, because this is a cool start with an interesting character. We don't now why she is so angry, but we're starting to want to find out.
Contemporary realism
ReplyDeleteSounds like she is in a mental hospital in an old mansion. Please NO ALL CAPS.
I Can't Tell
ReplyDeleteThe non-shattering mirror and 'Facility' could make it Sci-Fi or Fantasy
YA dystopian
ReplyDeleteI considered whether this might be YA contemporary with the mc in a locked ward, but I couldn't imagine any contemporary psych facility allowing a mentally ill person to have a large mirror in her room. This left me thinking she and the others at the facility are being held there by some dark governmental power.
Dystopian/Sci-Fi (I think there's some overlap here).
ReplyDeleteThe "Facility" has a mirror that doesn't shatter. Definitely seems beyond Contemporary Fiction here.
Sci Fi or Dystopian or both. "Facility" is a definite clue to either, plus the fact that she' s being watched.
ReplyDeleteParagraphs 3 and 4 need some polishing. The end of 4 makes it sound like she might have used glass shards to commit suicide but she refers to the bookend as a weapon. And actually, I'd drop paragraph 3. Backstory too soon.
YA dystopian.
ReplyDeleteModern overtones and she's trapped in a room and wants to escape, implying an authoritarian regime
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ReplyDeleteContemporary
ReplyDeleteLike the person above, I thought she was in a mental hospital.
I can't tell. I guess Contemporary.
ReplyDeleteI got a YA kind of One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest feel.
I can't tell. I guess Contemporary.
ReplyDeleteI got a YA kind of One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest feel.
FANTASY.
ReplyDeleteShe is too cocky and sure of herself to be a mental patient. She sounds like a fighter because she is used to weapons. And why would they give her a book if she was in a mental institute and knew she was violent? This sounds exactly like secret facilities people are kept in as in "The Tomorrow People." I admit the floor-to-ceiling mirror got me puzzled. It sounds like they keep her in a dance studio. A one-way mirror as in a police station would not break.
SF/dystopian
ReplyDeleteShe's being kept in a Facility and watched by someone. The government?
Dystopian Fantasy
ReplyDeleteI don't know what she's done, but being locked up in a mirrored room seems pretty unusually dystopian for a room full of bookends and presumably books. I could go with Historical Romance too I guess.
Not sure -- it could go a few ways: adventure, sci-fi, dystopian, even fantasy. The mirror and camera place it in a contemporary or near-future setting.
ReplyDeleteNot sure -- it could go a few ways: adventure, sci-fi, dystopian, even fantasy. The mirror and camera place it in a contemporary or near-future setting.
ReplyDeleteYA Dystopian.
ReplyDeleteHer name, anger and the Big Brother is watching camera not to mention her "Escort." Eesh. If the mirror is made with safety glass then this could be near future. If the shards not falling to the floor is literal, then Sci-Fi.
I can't tell
ReplyDeleteThis voice and most of the description feels contemporary, but the shatterproof glass made me think this could be due to magic or something.
Dystopian
ReplyDeleteA floor to ceiling mirror in a cell is not contemporary, which makes me think it's some type of sci-fi, probably dystopian, but there really isn't enough in this page to glean much information on genre. Even though you didn't give the age category, the voice sounds YA.
Dystopian.
ReplyDeleteFacility, an escort coming to lead her to her death. The only thing that doesn't fit with this genre is the book end. Seems a strange thing to have in a detention facility.
Dystopian. Sounds like some kind of death camp in an old house.
ReplyDeleteContemporary
ReplyDeleteI'm thinking mental hospital but if it is a mental hospital why would they have mirrors.
Contemporary realism.
ReplyDeleteGirl hospitalized or institutionalized for mental illness/behavior disorder of some sort. Know it's modern-day b/c of security camera. (I'm thinking the mirror is shatter-proof glass.)
Dystopian. The Facility. And the grimness.
ReplyDeleteDystopian - not really sure. This is outside my area, but there were threads that appealed to me.
ReplyDeleteDystopian. Incarceration.
ReplyDeleteContemporary. But honestly, not sure. No category was given. YA, NA, A???
ReplyDeleteScience Fiction.
ReplyDeleteDue to the "facility" setting and a mirror that won't drop its shards when it's shattered.
Don't know yet, could go many different ways
ReplyDeleteI like the idea of mental hospital, but could be dystopian government too