TITLE: The Golgothian Go-Go
GENRE: Urban Fantasy
The eight-foot penis was back for another beer and a shot. There were two other giant penises at my bar, one about seven feet tall who was drinking screwdrivers, and a discerning ten-foot-tall model wearing a cape and plastic fangs. Drajacula was sipping scotch and soda, disgruntled that his Johnny Walker Black was being served in a humble plastic tumbler—as if I cared how a giant vampire penis preferred his scotch—particularly an evil one from a rival Coven.
The Blackroods were slimy types, and no thanks to one of their skanky girlfriends, I was sporting a bruised eye under my pirate’s patch. Flipping the cape back over my shoulder, I slammed the scotch down on the bar and took Drajacula’s twenty with a look that said, “Try me.” Though Coven Blackrood wasn’t shopping for supernatural mates, I liked them even less than the Skinshifters who were.
Giving him a little growl, I tucked his change into my booty jar. He succumbed to premature evacuation, blending back into Freaks-Fest festering crowd. He was another fledgling warlock who wouldn’t return to my corner bar, despite the Coven’s fascination with my unique abilities. I was saving my angst for the immediate agenda—the real monsters who were loose in the full-moon Halloween crowd, and the hotel’s two missing employees.
The phone on my hip vibrated, flashing with a 911 from my best friend: “Harrys HERE!!!”
I texted Seejayne back with a: “WTF???” my last mug of burned coffee starting a squall in my belly.