Miss Snark's First Victim
No. Not strong enough. If you've lived on a farm or ranch there is nothing odd about an outdoor sink by the front door.
YesNot sure where it's going but I would have liked it better without the "outside" sink modifier. Just the sink looked odd... etc..I like the humor in it and it conjures up a mental image.Would have been even funnier if it was a toilet.
Yes. Because I am from the south where people are prone to do things like stick washing machines and car batteries on the front porch, and I want to know more. (Moving day? Hurricane?)
No. Not enough intrigue up front to make me wonder what this is all about.
Yes. It makes me want to know more, and it does so so simply that you could be halfway down the page before you knew it.
No. I know what you're trying to get across, but it just doesn't work as an opening sentence.
No.It doesn't really interest me enough to find out out.
No. Yes. Maybe. This one is on the fence for me. Which I guess makes it a No.
Yes. Made me laugh.
No. Not sure why it looks odd. Perhaps some detail. Also know nothing about the character.
Yes. (This is hard! I don't know if I like judging a first lin because I don't want to give the impression I'm judging the writer or their capability or the rest of the book I've not read! ;) I'll say yes because I immediately have a picture, and that's a great place to start.
yes, why is a sink sitting on the front porch. I'm thinking someone has a fetish with washing their hands
No. Depending on where this takes place, this would be a normal occurrence, and I don't see why this would be special.
Yes, it paints a picture, one that is unexpected. While it doesn't say anything about the character or the story, I want to know why the sink is there.
No.I said this with another entry, but I believe it applies to this one as well.This seems like a passing detail, not a setup to some sort of conflict/action.
No.I was confused off the bat mostly because I've never heard of an outside sink and so I couldn't understand why it would be odd for it to be next to the front door.
Yes. I, like another commenter, am from the south and a sink could be in the front yard for a variety of reasons but I'm interested in which one - clean freak? Hoarder? White trash? Why?
No. I'm having trouble figuring out if you're talking about a true outside sink (in which case, why would it look weird?) or a regular sink that'd been stuck outside.
No.The qualifier "a bit" made the sentence weak although it's a good image to start with.
No. It has potential but it doesn't grab me. A sink by a front door isn't odd to someone who lives out in the sticks. If they're in the suburbs or a city that would be a different story. Unfortunately, there isn't a way to tell from the first sentence.
No. I was confused when I read this sentence. Since you call it an "outside sink" I immediately envisioned a full hooked-up sink positioned next to the front door. Now reading other comments people are assuming it's a broken sink just left there.
No. Like Alessa said, I just didn't care enough to learn more.
No. Show me what was 'odd' and it might be a yes, but right now there's nothing but the position of a sink next to a door and that's not very interesting.
NoI'm unsure of the surroundings (urban, rural?) and trying to visualize the outdoor sink next to the door. If it's set in a place where this is common, then it wouldn't look odd.
Yes. It confused me just a little, but I like it -- it caught my attention, definitely. It's original.
No.Mostly because the sentence just makes me want to argue and say, well, an inside sink would have looked even dumber. This is partially because I don't know the genre - fantasy/sci-fi and the sink magically appeared?
Yes, I want to know why there's a sink by the front door and what it means to the protagonist.
No. This sounds a bit random and doesn't hook me.
No.The wording of the line makes it mundane right off the bat. It's an "outside" sink, so it would be natural for it to be outside. "The kitchen sink look odd..." or "The outside sink look odd in my bedroom..." or something more unexpected would have been a better hook. I get the impression that the MC has had some unexpected life change (like a disaster that puts fixtures where they don't belong or moving to a very rural area where everything is strange), but the juxtaposition just isn't strong enough to show an upheaval of any kind, and the reaction is too weak with the "a bit" piece.
No- just the description with no 'intent' doesn't pull me in
No.I don't know that there's anything wrong with starting with this description, but taken alone, it doesn't hook me.
Yes...most front doors don't have a sink!
Yes. But removing "outside" and "a bit" might make it more punchy.
No. I think the "a bit" makes it bland. A lot of things are "a bit" odd, and I don't care about them.
I guess this is a no for me because I can't really decide. I'm with the early commenter who suggested dropping the word "outside." Because I think that a sink next to the front door would be odd, but if it's an "outside" sink, then I could picture it perfectly well being next to the front door.
My immediate reaction is yes, so that's my vote. But, I agree that the word "outside" takes some of the punch away. If I were going on my secondary reaction, it would be no.
Yes. I love odd juxtapositions.
Yes. The sink intrigues me- is it new, did they just move to a house where outdoor sinks are the norm, is the kitchen torn apart so the sink had to be relocated? Inquiring minds want to know!
Yes, but it's a qualified yes. I agree with other comments about "a bit" making the sentence feel weaker. I would love to have a better idea of the POV for this sentence. Are we in the mc's head? If so, could you try something that shows the mc's reaction to the sink, like, "I'll never get used to the sink mounted outside Lelland's front door."
No. I'm not sure why I should care about a sink... ?
Yes. I'd give it another sentence to see if there's a reason for it to be outside on this particular day, or if it's just odd in general. I would lose the 'a bit odd' and put something with more oomph in there.
No. If the sink was designed to go on the outside it wouldn't be something I would remark on. If it's the narrators front door, you'd think they'd be used to it.~Sarah F.
Yes, great image. :)
No. It's kind of funny and quirky but I don't get why it's the first line or what it's setting up.
No. The image isn't weird enough for me - I don't know why it's so strange.
No. Not strong enough to grab me. I'm guessing you're going for the image of a strange family in an uptight neighbourhood, but I thnk there are better ways to illustrate it. Maybe if they bathed regularly in it...Besides, I have an old cement sink (more like a laundry trough, actually) on my front porch that I have planted ferns in.
Yes.I want to know what the sink is doing next to the front door.
No. I liked the imagery but would have preferred to not be told what it "looked" like...rather see it for myself. I would continue to read line 2, though.
No. Not a strong opening. The sink part was awkward.
No. Not really sure what's going on, and the image isn't surprising enough to hook me. Also, watch out for words and phrases like "a bit" (also "kind of," "sort of," "somewhat," etc.) -- they water down your prose.
No. Can't visualize what's going on. I don't know what an "outside sink" is, whether or not it's supposed to be there and just looks funny, or whether it's not supposed to be there. Ultimately, though, a sink isn't all that intriguing.
Yes, but just barely. I'd read on, but you'd have to hook me in the next few sentences.
Yes, because my instinct is to want to read more. This is the rare occurance where I think a comma plus additional insight is appropriate for the first line, like a brief quip on why it's odd.
Yes. I like the understated humor. I get the sense this is a teen girl embarressed of her family and while that's a normal teenage feeling, it sounds like she has good reason to be and I'm hoping for one of those great quirky- family coming of age tales like I Conquered the Castle.
Yes. This made me grin. Nice voice, fun image. I can't imagine anyone not knowing that a sink next to the front door is not the norm and that there's a story to go along with it!
Yes.I wavered on this one, but I came down on "yes" because I want to know what kind of sink -- is it attached to the wall? lying broken on the porch? a big farmhouse sink or a re-purposed bathroom sink?I agree that removing "a bit" and "outside" would strengthen the sentence.
No.There's nothing really wrong with it, just didn't think it sounded like a first line. It just didn't intrigue me all that much.