Friday Fricassee

And again, thanks for your participation. Dialogue is definitely a challenge, is it not? Nothing bogs a story down more than a whole lot of yakkity-yak-yak that doesn't move the story forward.

Nothing, perhaps, except endless internal dialogue. "He wondered" this; "he wondered" that. He pondered, he paused, he considered, he worried, he thought, he contemplated.

He needs to tell the voices in his head to be quiet and get on with whatever it is he's supposed to be doing!

So I'm a little sensitized to it right now. I'm still reading Ilse Witch by Terry Brooks. And not to pick on Terry Brooks, but...I'm going to pick on Terry Brooks.

I am almost convinced that this book wasn't edited.

What's my beef? Well, aside from the endless internal dialogue and rambling blah-blah-blah of characters, there's this little issue of ridiculous word tags.

Yes. Ridiculous word tags often coupled with -- gasp -- "ly" adverbs.

Are you with me?

And I'm asking myself, what happened to the Invisible Said?

But don't take my word for it. See for yourself:

From page 11: "Once, only," the other advised.

Advised? It jumped out at me as awkward, but to each his own, right? Right, until you get to page 37:

"I know of the expedition," Walker advised quietly, and bid him continue.

Now we have "advised quietly."

And lo and behold, the word "advised" continues to show up regularly, each time bearing itself like a fresh, red zit that you don't really want to look at.

Along with "advised," we have "he inquired," "he whispered," "he greeted pleasantly," "he called back to them," "he roared to everyone who would listen," "he declared loudly," "he snapped," "he agreed finally," "she admitted," "he announced approvingly," "he replied suspiciously," "she pressed," and "he declared."

And that's in the first 75 pages. The book is over 450 pages long.

I don't know how much more of this I can stand.

Here's an "in context" example from page 153:

"How well do you intend to pay?" his sister interjected quickly.
"What would be your normal rate of pay for a long voyage?" Walker queried.

Queried? Is he looking for an agent?

And here's "advised" again on page 163: "This way," Redden Alt Mer advised, starting off down the dock toward the beach.

Here's a good dose of "telling" instead of "showing": "How did you know we were coming?" Bek asked in surprise.

I'll stop now. I think you've gotten the gist of what I'm ranting about.

And, too, there's the teeny-tiny fact that I'm on page 231 and the characters still have not embarked upon their quest.

Yep! Halfway through the book and they haven't actually begun their journey.

I work so hard to tighten my writing. You all know how hard that is! I'm still in process, you know? So very much in process. That's what's so awesome about crit partners and feedback and such.

So when I read the work of a long-lived, bestseller author, and the writing is about as tight as a 90-year-old's abs, it's just a bit...discouraging.

Not to mention painful to read. Oh, the guy's got a story, to be sure! Rife with epic fantasy cliche that I could certainly do without, but he knows how to weave it.

But where....oh where, oh where, oh where....was his editor?

Does he have an editor?

Maybe he should hire Merc.

*grin*

So, who's game to pick up the book and read it along with me? Can we work together to discover what's really good about it, and what isn't? Is there somebody here who actually wants to say to me, "Authoress, you're all wet, mama. It's an excellent book without flaw."?

Do tell.

I really am teachable. I really do want to be a better -- and better and better -- writer. I really do read books to hone my own craft, as well as for entertainment.

And right now, I am neither entertained nor learning much. Except, perhaps, what not to do.

Will you join me? Let me know!

And have a wonderful Memorial day weekend.