Miss Snark's First Victim
Yes! I love the voice, and I'm definitely interested to know more about the character!
Yes. I like the voice, too, it's as simple as that.
Yes. Love "chart topping bad day" although, should chart topping be hyphenated? I'd say yes. See rule number 4 here: http://www.grammarbook.com/punctuation/hyphens.asp
Yes. Great voice with the addition of giving the reader setting.
Yes. The line is interesting and makes one naturally wonder about what happens next in this character's day if he's already had a kid puking in his taxi.
Yes. Loved the voice.
Yes. Simple yet elicits intrique. Great voice in just this one sentence.
Yes. I laughed, which always guarantees I'll read on.
Yes. Interesting scene and voice conveyed in one sentence! Eager to find out what is going on with both of these characters. Agree with Katherine about the hyphen. It would make it easier to read.
Yes. I want to see what else happens to make it a chart-topping bad day.
YesThe line serves the purpose of forging a connection between reader and narrator because it elicits sympathy and understanding of the predicament.
Yes, already love the character's voice.
YesI like the set-up of this. I get a feel for the character immediately. One suggestion is I think it should be chart-topping? Otherwise, I like it!
Yes. Great character voice.
Yes.It does it's job. But I think there is a way to axe that 'was'. The chart topping bad day started when the kid barfed n the backseat of my taxicab. (that only depends on the next couple lines though.) And of course, my humbles opinion. :) I try to axe I knew, I feel, because they tend to add up.
Yes, it does what I want it to, gives me action and emotion and a sense of who the story is about. Great job.
No. Though honestly, if I could give a scale rather than a simple yes/no, I'd give it about a 6. The "chart-topping" seems to be a positive image that doesn't really mesh with the rest. If you were going for sarcasm, it doesn't quite read like that to me. I'd go more sarcastic or cut the positive imagery altogether.
No.It's really close but the "chart topping bad day" is a little too clunky. Also, "the kid" sounds like we should know who this kid is but we don't. If this is clarified immediately, it's probably fine.
No. "Chart topping bad day" reads funny to me, and I feel like it should be chart-toppingly.Besides that, a little puke never killed anyone and kids get sick sometimes. This seems overly dramatic to me.
Yes. Anything that starts so boldly with the word "barf" in the first line is worth reading on.
Yes.It sets the tone nicely. I would, however, get rid of "chart topping." It's an odd musical reference in a taxi cab and I stumbled over it. The sentence works even better without it.
Yes! I liked the voice - in particular, I liked the promise of a "chart topping bad day"
Yes. It made me laugh. I'd like to know what else went on to make it such a bad day. However, chart topping as a descriptor brings in a younger voice to me, like a teenager, but I associate taxi drivers with an older set.
Yes. This MC has a great voice!
Yes. Great voice.
Yes.I was on the fence but I like the voice.Good luck.
Yes--Fun voice, and with the genre, I'd definitely read on. Cab driver cozy? Yes, please!
No- chart topping seemed cliche-ish and pulled me up short; descriptive no real conflict
Yes, great visual and funny.
Yes. It tells a bit about the MC, shows either interest in music or pop culture (chart topping), and has something visceral - barf. I'd read on.
No, I didn't like the modifier "chart topping." It felt forced and turned me off.
Yes. I'm a mom -- barf is always attention grabbing. And I liked the humor in the voice.
Yes. A bit of an awkward construction with the "chart topping," but the voice and humor hooked me.
Yes. Great voice, funny setup. As for "chart-topping" (should be hyphenated), I'm OK with it if the MC is a music-phile or something and makes other references like that throughout. But if it's just a one-off and music has nothing to do with the story, I might suggest cutting it or rewording.
Yes. Funny and gives us character and setting. Chart topping is an unusual phrase the way it's used here. It may be hinting at our character--a taxi driving singer? band member?
No. I'm personally not fond of "I knew" as an opening.
Yes, I liked "chart topping bad day."
Yes, it catches my interest with "chart topping bad day" and already gives me a place of setting.
Yes. Thought it had a light, funny voice.
Yes, although I did think the chart topping wasn't needed and a little awkward.
Oh yeah! Loved the sarcasm, which shows our taxi driver probably has a sense of humor (driving a taxi can't be an easy job, so a sense of humor is a must), although I agree that "chart-topping" should be hyphenated.
Yes. Gives a good sense of the book with character, voice, setting, etc. I love the word barf. p.s. "chart-topping" is going to divide readers based on taste, but I doubt they'd put the book down because of it.
Yes! Great voice, promises a fun ride.
No. Barf is gross.
Yes.I was going to say no because "I knew it was going to be a bad day when" is as cliche as it gets, but there was just enough voice there to lead me on.I also smell barfy cab, now. Thanks.I'm on the fence about chart-topping. It didn't turn me off in the first read through. It sounded very saracstic and was a part of the narrator voice. If too many readers object, then maybe think about "record-setting" or some other equivalent. The one thing I worry about is that the kid puking is just the start of a bunch of minor inconveniences we have to wade through to get to the real trouble. If dealing with the barf, though, leads us to the actual problem, then I'll read straight through.
Yes! LOVE the chart-topping - it's a great way to describe something and gives us the voice straight away.
Ha. Yes. I love this. I've had a lot of those days.
Yes.The voice is clear and engaging, with just enough humor ("chart-topping bad day" and "barfed" are great word choices) and a nice flow.The narrator wins me over immediately - yes, a kid puking in my taxi would pretty much ruin my day too. The fact that I like this narrator makes me eager to read on.
Yes. I didn't like the chart-topping bad day, and I'm not a big fan of barf, but it still worked for me:)
Yes. I don't like the term "chart-topping bad day," but otherwise this is fantastic!
Yes. Great voice, and an image I can sympathize with.
No. But only just slightly no. "Chart-topping" lends itself to the narrator's possible voice, which is nice, but "barfed" conjures up images of little children on a playground trying to make fun of and out-gross one another. Perhaps a different word choice?
Yes! It already gives us a taste of the MC's voice with a little humour. Although, I didn't like the use of, "the kid."
Yes. I liked "the kid," and would definitely read more to see what's up.
yes. love the voice and the humor, always a grabber for me
No.Starting the first sentence with I knew I was...... doesn't work me either...passive
Yes. It could benefit from minor reworking, but overall I get the tone.
Yes. Sense of forboring, sense of humor, and already a clear voice.
No, but I generally don't like books that start with "I knew it was going to be a bad day when..." it sounds too much like a setup.
Yes - I liked the humor. Although chart-topping, should probably be chart-toppingly. Which is awkward. I don't know - there's something about that phrase that seems off.
No. I'm not a fan of 'I knew' for a start either. It makes me think this is going to be someone looking back, and I prefer to start in the present rather than with a character telling us things.
No.I prefer to avoid bodily fluids in the first line.
Yes.I liked the humor and the voice here. Sure, there is a bit of cliche in "chart topping" but I would give this a few more sentences to see where this is going.