Wednesday, August 8, 2012

August First Line Grabber #10

TITLE: The Memory Jug
GENRE: YA

I was the second person in my family to get struck by lightning.

83 comments:

  1. Yes. Family-based, statistically unlikely natural occurrences make me hope for magical realism, which I like.

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  2. Yes. I immediately want to see a scene -- the first person getting struck, this person getting struck... and because getting struck by lightning is inherently interesting I automatically feel like this narrator has a good story to tell me.

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  3. Yes. It's rare to be struck by lightning, and extraordinary to be the second in the same family to have been struck. I also love that the narrator is one of the victims, I automatically trust that he/she will explain the mystery behind the lightning strikes.

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  4. Yes. I like the voice right off the bat, and starting with family gives it a really warm feel for me.

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  5. Yes. But I'm kind of meh about it. I want to know more, but it better deliver within the next couple sentences.

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  6. Yes. Very intriguing. It doesn't give anything away, but the first sentence is still very understandable.

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  7. Yes. I want to know how that is even possible.

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  8. Yes. I want to know what the connection is with MC's character and lightning.

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  9. Yes. The addition of just the little bit of back story here boosts this up to intriguing.

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  10. Yes. Absolutely want to know more.

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  11. No. I have a hard time with sentences like this because they are usually followed by a lot of backstory. It also makes me think of STRUCK.

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  12. Yes. I'd like to know more about the family.

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  13. Yes. Sounds like there's something interesting going on here..

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  14. Yes. Interesting, I want to know more. Simple as that.

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  15. No. Using the word "was" made it too passive for me, even if I was intrigued - if you'd written it "I am the second person..." I might feel a little more attached to the mc.

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  16. Yes. Definitely a unique first line, and I'm curious to know more.

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  17. Yes. Low probability events can be interesting.

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  18. Yes, I want to hear about this family.

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  19. YES because what is it about her family that people get struck by lightning? AND how did she survive?!?

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  20. Yes! Love it. Simple and to the point.

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  21. yes. i immediately want to know this story

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  22. Yes. Almost implies that getting struck by lightning is genetic, though of course it's not. Original, and I want to read on.

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  23. No. It reminds me of another book. Sorry.

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  24. Yes, strange and interesting.

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  25. Yes, I want to know what happened with both lightning strikes.

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  26. Yes, although I'm not sure about the past tense. Is the narrator dead?

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  27. Yes. Has me curious right from the get-go. Why did this happen and what does it mean?

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  28. Yes. This doesn't really tell me what's going on, but I'm interested enough by the uniqueness of this to read at least until the end of the first page.

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  29. Yes. I would read on!

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  30. Yes, because you know there's a story there.

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  31. Yes, because I want to know how that happened.

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  32. Yes, awesome line. Way to play on Lightning strikes twice.

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  33. Yes.

    I want to know if both lived and if they got superpowers or were injured.

    But offhand I can think of two recent titles that have a similar premise so this really needs to standout.

    And I sure hope the next lines aren't backstory.

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  34. YES. You were struck by lightning? And it's already happened in your family? Yeah, I want to know the details.

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  35. Yes. Immediate curiosity about being the second in the family.

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  36. Yes
    Made me laugh - nice humor.

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  37. Yes. Getting struck by lightning is an okay start but 'second person' grabbed me.

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  38. Yes, interesting idea, but the first line is just telling, instead of showing us anything about the scene.

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  40. Yes, but also borderline no.

    Depending on the premise of your story as a whole - genre "YA" doesn't give me much there - will really make this a yes for me.

    In short, yes.
    In length, I'd really like to know the specific genre.

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  41. Yes, I am intrigued about the lightning and I want to see how it relates to the title.

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  42. Yes, it's a unique start and I'd like to see where the story goes.

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  43. Yes - I'm intrigued to find out whether this is a coincidence or not.

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  44. Yes. I immediately wanted to know why that fact is relevant,and if it meant physical lightning or metaphorical lightning.

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  45. Yes. I definitely want to know more about both lightning strikes.

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  46. Yes. Made me laugh and want to know more.

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  47. Yes. Could go in so many different directions. Very intriguing. I would almost HAVE to read more.

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  48. Yes.
    Funny and interesting :)

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  49. Yes, simple, but interesting.

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  50. Yes. This grabs my interest to keep reading.

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  51. Yes. This hints at there being a reason for her family to be lightning-strike-prone, and I'd like to see what it is. I hope it doesn't immediately launch into flashbacks and bog down.

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  52. Yes. It's not a hard yes, but the idea amused me, and so I'd keep going to see if it stayed interesting.

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  54. Yes--this doesn't happen every day, and I already know a little about the story's plot.

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  55. I'd volt for this!

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  56. YES! Statistically unusual and intriguing. Great job!

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  57. Yes. Who was the first? Unusual x 2. The author has my interest.

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  58. Yes. Sometimes there's not a clear reason why something grabs me. This just did. It's to the point, different, and I want to know the story, not only of this character, but of the one who met up with lightning first.

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  59. Yes. How often does that happen?!?

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  60. Yes. I want to know what the connection is.

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  61. Yes--though I'd hope the next few sentences gave me some clue as to how the MC felt about this. The first sentence is very clinical.

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  63. Yes. Sounds interesting. I want to know more about this person and their family.

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  64. Yes. Intriguing and makes me want to know more about this unlucky family.

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  65. Yes. Makes me want to find out more about this family.

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  66. Yes. I want to know more about this family!

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  67. Yes. Clear, direct, and raises interesting questions.

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  68. Yes. I'd read hoping for a strange family tale.

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  69. Yes.

    This had that intriguing bit of twist I look for. I would change "was" to "am," though. Unless the narrator is dead, he's still the second person....

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  70. A grabber is supposed to, well, grab a reader's attention. This one certainly grabbed my attention.

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  71. Yes. It's so completely off the wall in a unique way. I love it.

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  72. Yes. Funny and slightly horrifying. Also, I like books about families.

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  73. Yes. This is something curious to me, since while it does happen, it's not a common occurrence.

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  74. Yes. What are the odds? I need to know the story behind this.

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  75. Yes. You have to wonder what's going on!

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