Wednesday, August 8, 2012

August First Line Grabber #30

TITLE: Diamond Tears
GENRE: YA Fantasy

When my left temple slammed into the refrigerator door, I knew I’d have to get up extra early the next morning.

85 comments:

  1. Yes, but I can't tell if it's based on this line or on my previous encounters with this text, which I found intriguing.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Yes. It doesn't make sense to me why he'd have to get up early because his face slammed into a refrigerator, so I want to find out why.

    ReplyDelete
  3. No. The two events mentioned seem too disconnected. I can't wrap my brain around what hitting your temple has to do with getting up early.

    ReplyDelete
  4. No. I would think he/she would be screaming, not wondering. Sorry.

    ReplyDelete
  5. No because they don't seem to fit together. It is a little intriguing, but I'm too confused.

    ReplyDelete
  6. No. I'm not feeling it...why the two events would be related and the wording isn't enough to make me want to know why.

    ReplyDelete
  7. No, that was so confusing. Seems to me like this person would want an ice pack, not get up early.

    ReplyDelete
  8. No, because the two events seem disconnected.

    ReplyDelete
  9. No. It seems that if your temple hit the refrigerator door, you wouldn't be thinking about waking up the next morning. Seems disconnected.

    ReplyDelete
  10. No. I agree with the others who said the two events seemed disconnected. I had to read the sentence twice.

    ReplyDelete
  11. No. The second clause ruined the sentence.

    ReplyDelete
  12. Yes. I'm super clumsy and already TOTALLY relate with her.

    ReplyDelete
  13. Yes. If I hadn't read the first page, I would be confused like those who said no, but knowing who's slamming the MC's head into the refrigerator door and how used to it she has become, I would read on. I think my knowledge of this page may be cheating a little.

    ReplyDelete
  14. No. This makes no sense.

    ReplyDelete
  15. No, it's just overwrought and trying too hard. If the character's head is hitting a fridge, that's a really visceral moment in the novel -- pain, fear, violence -- and this seems like a great way to suck all the immediacy out of it by connecting it to a very pedantic thought.

    ReplyDelete
  16. No, it doesn't make a lot of sense to me and the events don't seem to connect right off the bat.

    ReplyDelete
  17. YES. Because I want to find out why getting your head slammed by a refrigerator has anything to do with getting up the next morning.

    ReplyDelete
  18. No. I wish I could put a maybe here instead, but something about the slamming head into door and getting up earlier the next day confused me.

    ReplyDelete
  19. No. "Left temple" is too specific, and makes me think the book's going to have too much useless detail bogging it down; plus, while an obscure connection can be intriguing, this one's too obscure.

    ReplyDelete
  20. No. Too disconnected, and not in an intriguing way. Sorry.

    ReplyDelete
  21. Yes. I'm curious about how the two events are connected, but it had better be something really good, because those are two really odd things to put together.

    ReplyDelete
  22. Yes. I want to know why hitting her left temple on the fridge means she has to get up early.

    ReplyDelete
  23. No.

    I'm a little annoyed here because it had potential. slamming into the refigerator- interesting. Waking up the next morning? Not. And it shot out all the interesting out of the first part. Because if you hit your temple, and your worried about when you wake up the next day, means it's not a big deal. Means I'm not sure why I'm reading it.

    That being said, this might just be voice that I don't get yet. Maybe it's sarcassm. But the problem is there is no way for me to know that here, and it doesn't come across, to me at least.

    ReplyDelete
  24. Yes, I also want to know how the two events are connected.

    ReplyDelete
  25. Yes. I want to know how the two events are connected. And I think the sentence shows a wry humor.

    ReplyDelete
  26. no. not sure what one has to do with the other. but i love the action in the first sentence so maybe just a little more clarity.

    ReplyDelete
  27. Yes, because I think the reason will make me laugh.

    ReplyDelete
  28. Yes. I want to find out how the events are related. I'm guessing MC has to get up early to cover bruise, which makes me think this might be domestic violence. Enough to make me want to read on.

    ReplyDelete
  29. No.
    Was weird and disconnected that it was "when" her temple slammed into it that she knew she'd have to get up early.

    ReplyDelete
  30. No. The two parts of the sentence seem disconnected - I'm not sure how they relate.

    ReplyDelete
  31. No. Sorry, but I just don't know enough about the character to care as to why they will need to rise early.

    ReplyDelete
  32. No. If her temple slammed into something, she's probably not awake to think about it.

    ReplyDelete
  33. No. I don't get how the two events are related. Maybe the way the head hit rattled the thought in there or something more visual and catchy. If that makes sense.

    ReplyDelete
  34. No. The conclusion of the sentence was so far off base from the start that I was more confused than intrigued.

    ReplyDelete
  35. Yes. I'd read a bit more to find out why.

    ReplyDelete
  36. No. This is confusing and not in a way that makes me want to know why.

    ReplyDelete
  37. No, it seems like the character would think a lot of other things, like ouch, before thinking about the next morning.

    ReplyDelete
  38. No. It seems more like an ending of a scene than a beginning.

    ReplyDelete
  39. No. Need more background, more emotion, something else here, not a statement of action and unsupported thought.

    ReplyDelete
  40. No. The two halves of the sentence make no sense together.

    ReplyDelete
  41. No,
    "left temple" sounds awkward. I think forehead would be better.

    ReplyDelete
  42. Yes. At the very least, I'd read the rest of the paragraph. I like the juxtaposition between the character being in what seems like a bad situation and his concern for the banal-seeming matter of the next day's schedule.

    ReplyDelete
  43. No -- not sure how the pieces fit together, and the confusion trips me up.

    ReplyDelete
  44. No, sorry. The two ideas don't seem connected.

    ReplyDelete
  45. No - personal preference - I can only take violence in a story when I already know why it is essential

    ReplyDelete
  46. Yes, it's not overly wordy to show the voice.

    ReplyDelete
  47. Yes. I admit I was torn and, like others, I was confused. But I'd at least read on to see how the first and second half of the sentence go together.

    ReplyDelete
  48. No, Disconected thoughts - as in "after my husband slapped me I knew I'd have to hurry and read for book club." Firt lines can be muindane but they should never be confusing.

    ReplyDelete
  49. No. I'm missing the connection between the two events.

    ReplyDelete
  50. Yes. The mundane way he/she responds makes this feel like a familiar event and I want to know more.

    ReplyDelete
  51. No. The two events don't seem related.

    ReplyDelete
  52. No. The two things seem unrelated and confusing.

    ReplyDelete
  53. No, doesn't make sense to me unless the early morning is for time to cover up the bruises, which isn't that interesting.

    ReplyDelete
  54. Yes. I want to know why these two seemingly disconnected events are connected.

    ReplyDelete
  55. Yes. It is rather disconnected and confusing, and it doesn't make much sense--but I know from personal experience that pain causes some really surreal reactions, and I'd like to know what happens.

    ReplyDelete
  56. No. You're first sentence should have the reader asking at least a question, who, what, why. Unfortunately, this does not.

    ReplyDelete
  57. No, I don't understand the cause and effect insinuated here.

    ReplyDelete
  58. No, left me scratching my head but not eager to read more.

    ReplyDelete
  59. No, I don't get what's happening and don't really care.

    ReplyDelete
  60. No. We've all done this before, and this doesn't seem different from everyday life.

    ReplyDelete
  61. Yes, because I want to know why the character needs to get up early.

    ReplyDelete
  62. No. I can't figure out how a temple can slam against a flat surface

    ReplyDelete
  63. No. The two events seem too unrelated to make sense but not compelling enough to make want to find out what it all means.

    ReplyDelete
  64. No. I'm curious about the first half of the sentence, but for some reason the second half drew me out of it.

    ReplyDelete
  65. No. The action doesn't make any sense, and neither does the reaction.

    ReplyDelete
  66. No. I have no idea why slamming a temple on a door makes you get up earlier. Too much confusion without enough to excite me.

    ReplyDelete
  67. No. It's cute, but the two ideas seem unrelated and I'm not buying that's the idea that went through the protag's head in that circumstance. I'd like to say if I were a teen I wouldn't care, but my 14yo tears apart books for things like this. (Doesn't stop her from reading them, she just whines about it.)

    ReplyDelete
  68. This isn't mine, but I feel compelled to comment even though no one's coming back to read this. If someone (dad, step-dad...) abuses you on a regular basis, wouldn't you want to get up extra early the next morning to avoid him? Those two thoughts are very connected.

    ReplyDelete
  69. No - the two halves don't seem connected and wouldn't entice me to read on.

    ReplyDelete
  70. no. Do not see the connection.

    ReplyDelete
  71. @ Lanette
    you got an abusive dad or step-dad from the first line? I got someone hitting their head on the door. You maybe righ tsince you obviously have more info but we are dealing with a first line here not a Jerry Springer show.

    ReplyDelete
  72. I admit, I've either read this first page somewhere or I've read something similar (not sure which). But to me it sounds like the voice of a teen who's trying to dodge daily abuse, which is why he/she realizes he must get up earlier tomorrow.

    ReplyDelete
  73. No.
    Voice isn't there for me.
    Hitting the head isn't enough info to make me care enough to read more.

    ReplyDelete
  74. No.

    I couldn't logically connect the event with the conclusion. Also, the action seems to be at the refrigerator, but by the end of the first sentence, we're already thinking about the next day...

    ReplyDelete
  75. No. Confusing and it didn't grab me.

    ReplyDelete
  76. No. The two events seem unrelated. What does one have to with the other?

    ReplyDelete
  77. No. The temple reference is too specific and yet unconnected

    ReplyDelete
  78. No. Too much of a stretch to connect the dots.

    ReplyDelete
  79. No. It feels like it's trying too hard.

    I read it as abuse that the MC is used to, and that she'll have to get up early to cover up the bruise. But I don't know enough about this character yet to care.

    ReplyDelete
  80. No, it didn't work for me. Did he/she fall, were they pushed? I don't know what's happening or what it has to do with the next day.

    ReplyDelete
  81. No. It just left me confused, and not in a I-can't-wait-to-see-what-happens-next kind of way, but a this-book-will-probably-confuse-me kind of way.

    ReplyDelete
  82. No, because I'm sticking on the word 'left' and the comma. I also think 'the next morning' sounds a bit odd - I'd normally say 'in the morning' to myself, but maybe it's just me.

    ReplyDelete