Yes. I immediately want to see a scene -- the first person getting struck, this person getting struck... and because getting struck by lightning is inherently interesting I automatically feel like this narrator has a good story to tell me.
Yes. It's rare to be struck by lightning, and extraordinary to be the second in the same family to have been struck. I also love that the narrator is one of the victims, I automatically trust that he/she will explain the mystery behind the lightning strikes.
No. Using the word "was" made it too passive for me, even if I was intrigued - if you'd written it "I am the second person..." I might feel a little more attached to the mc.
Yes. This doesn't really tell me what's going on, but I'm interested enough by the uniqueness of this to read at least until the end of the first page.
Yes. This hints at there being a reason for her family to be lightning-strike-prone, and I'd like to see what it is. I hope it doesn't immediately launch into flashbacks and bog down.
Yes. Sometimes there's not a clear reason why something grabs me. This just did. It's to the point, different, and I want to know the story, not only of this character, but of the one who met up with lightning first.
Yes. Family-based, statistically unlikely natural occurrences make me hope for magical realism, which I like.
ReplyDeleteYes. Sounds fun and quirky.
ReplyDeleteYes. I immediately want to see a scene -- the first person getting struck, this person getting struck... and because getting struck by lightning is inherently interesting I automatically feel like this narrator has a good story to tell me.
ReplyDeleteYes. It's rare to be struck by lightning, and extraordinary to be the second in the same family to have been struck. I also love that the narrator is one of the victims, I automatically trust that he/she will explain the mystery behind the lightning strikes.
ReplyDeleteYes. I like the voice right off the bat, and starting with family gives it a really warm feel for me.
ReplyDeleteYes. But I'm kind of meh about it. I want to know more, but it better deliver within the next couple sentences.
ReplyDeleteYes. Very intriguing. It doesn't give anything away, but the first sentence is still very understandable.
ReplyDeleteYes. I want to know how that is even possible.
ReplyDeleteYes. I want to know what the connection is with MC's character and lightning.
ReplyDeleteYes. The addition of just the little bit of back story here boosts this up to intriguing.
ReplyDeleteYes. Absolutely want to know more.
ReplyDeleteNo. I have a hard time with sentences like this because they are usually followed by a lot of backstory. It also makes me think of STRUCK.
ReplyDeleteYes. I'd like to know more about the family.
ReplyDeleteYes. Sounds like there's something interesting going on here..
ReplyDeleteYes. Interesting, I want to know more. Simple as that.
ReplyDeleteNo. Using the word "was" made it too passive for me, even if I was intrigued - if you'd written it "I am the second person..." I might feel a little more attached to the mc.
ReplyDeleteYes. Definitely a unique first line, and I'm curious to know more.
ReplyDeleteYes. Low probability events can be interesting.
ReplyDeleteYes, I want to hear about this family.
ReplyDeleteYES because what is it about her family that people get struck by lightning? AND how did she survive?!?
ReplyDeleteYes! Love it. Simple and to the point.
ReplyDeleteyes. i immediately want to know this story
ReplyDeleteYes. Almost implies that getting struck by lightning is genetic, though of course it's not. Original, and I want to read on.
ReplyDeleteNo. It reminds me of another book. Sorry.
ReplyDeleteYes, strange and interesting.
ReplyDeleteYes, I want to know what happened with both lightning strikes.
ReplyDeleteYes, although I'm not sure about the past tense. Is the narrator dead?
ReplyDeleteYes. Has me curious right from the get-go. Why did this happen and what does it mean?
ReplyDeleteYes. This doesn't really tell me what's going on, but I'm interested enough by the uniqueness of this to read at least until the end of the first page.
ReplyDeleteYes. I would read on!
ReplyDeleteYes, because you know there's a story there.
ReplyDeleteYes, because I want to know how that happened.
ReplyDeleteYes. I need to know more.
ReplyDeleteYes. I would read on.
ReplyDeleteYes, awesome line. Way to play on Lightning strikes twice.
ReplyDeleteYes.
ReplyDeleteI want to know if both lived and if they got superpowers or were injured.
But offhand I can think of two recent titles that have a similar premise so this really needs to standout.
And I sure hope the next lines aren't backstory.
YES. You were struck by lightning? And it's already happened in your family? Yeah, I want to know the details.
ReplyDeleteYes. Immediate curiosity about being the second in the family.
ReplyDeleteYes
ReplyDeleteMade me laugh - nice humor.
Yes. Good start.
ReplyDeleteYes. Getting struck by lightning is an okay start but 'second person' grabbed me.
ReplyDeleteYes, interesting idea, but the first line is just telling, instead of showing us anything about the scene.
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ReplyDeleteYes, but also borderline no.
ReplyDeleteDepending on the premise of your story as a whole - genre "YA" doesn't give me much there - will really make this a yes for me.
In short, yes.
In length, I'd really like to know the specific genre.
Yes, I am intrigued about the lightning and I want to see how it relates to the title.
ReplyDeleteYes, it's a unique start and I'd like to see where the story goes.
ReplyDeleteYes - I'm intrigued to find out whether this is a coincidence or not.
ReplyDeleteYes. I immediately wanted to know why that fact is relevant,and if it meant physical lightning or metaphorical lightning.
ReplyDeleteYes. I definitely want to know more about both lightning strikes.
ReplyDeleteYes. Made me laugh and want to know more.
ReplyDeleteYes. Could go in so many different directions. Very intriguing. I would almost HAVE to read more.
ReplyDeleteYes.
ReplyDeleteFunny and interesting :)
Yes, simple, but interesting.
ReplyDeleteYes. This grabs my interest to keep reading.
ReplyDeleteYes. This hints at there being a reason for her family to be lightning-strike-prone, and I'd like to see what it is. I hope it doesn't immediately launch into flashbacks and bog down.
ReplyDeleteYes. It's not a hard yes, but the idea amused me, and so I'd keep going to see if it stayed interesting.
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ReplyDeleteYes--this doesn't happen every day, and I already know a little about the story's plot.
ReplyDeleteI'd volt for this!
ReplyDeleteYES! Statistically unusual and intriguing. Great job!
ReplyDeleteYes. Who was the first? Unusual x 2. The author has my interest.
ReplyDeleteYes. Sometimes there's not a clear reason why something grabs me. This just did. It's to the point, different, and I want to know the story, not only of this character, but of the one who met up with lightning first.
ReplyDeleteYes. How often does that happen?!?
ReplyDeleteYes. I want to know what the connection is.
ReplyDeleteYes--though I'd hope the next few sentences gave me some clue as to how the MC felt about this. The first sentence is very clinical.
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ReplyDeleteYes. Sounds interesting. I want to know more about this person and their family.
ReplyDeleteYes. Intriguing and makes me want to know more about this unlucky family.
ReplyDeleteYes. Makes me want to find out more about this family.
ReplyDeleteYes. I want to know more about this family!
ReplyDeleteYes. Clear, direct, and raises interesting questions.
ReplyDeleteYes. A statistical anomaly, fun.
ReplyDeleteYes. I'd read hoping for a strange family tale.
ReplyDeleteYes.
ReplyDeleteThis had that intriguing bit of twist I look for. I would change "was" to "am," though. Unless the narrator is dead, he's still the second person....
A grabber is supposed to, well, grab a reader's attention. This one certainly grabbed my attention.
ReplyDeleteYes. It's so completely off the wall in a unique way. I love it.
ReplyDeleteYes. Funny and slightly horrifying. Also, I like books about families.
ReplyDeleteNo. Show me. Don't tell me.
ReplyDeleteYes. Interesting thought.
ReplyDeleteYes. This is something curious to me, since while it does happen, it's not a common occurrence.
ReplyDeleteYes. What are the odds? I need to know the story behind this.
ReplyDeleteYes. You have to wonder what's going on!
ReplyDeleteYes! Very intriguing.
ReplyDelete