TITLE: Remember Me
GENRE: Women's Fiction
Idaho is my father’s country. It will always speak of him. But underneath, it also whispers another story, one I am careful to never speak of, one I have often wished to forget.
Grief makes forgetting difficult.
Maclain, my husband, steadies me as we form a circle around the newly dug grave, the coffin closed and ready. Beneath my skin, my heart beats like that of a typist's fingers, furiously tapping. It pounds on my ribcage, beating out a message I struggle to understand.
The presiding Bishop bows his head. He speaks of eternal life, something I have never doubted until this very moment. I know my father is not in his body any longer, his spirit gone. But where is he? I look up at the sky. Is he here?
Maclain squeezes my hand at the final Amen. It is over. I have held it together so far, but suddenly feel the need to fling myself onto the dirt and throw a terrific tantrum. But the truth is, I am not a brave person.
Instead of body flinging, I clench my hands, step forward, and break inside.
My three children look up at me, pull on my skirt while my father’s favorite hymn, Be Still, My Soul, echoes on a violin my sister, Angie plays on the Cache Valley hills of Idaho. Our eyes meet. The sweet notes trigger a memory for both of us, brings him back. That boy I try to never think of, who may as well be dead, too.