When I Have Nothing To Say

Hard to imagine, isn't it?

Words come easily for me.  I don't draft my blog posts days in advance and toil over them until it's time to post.  I simply...write them.

At my sister's wedding, I didn't have a speech prepared on nifty little note cards (though I tried valiantly to do that).  I stood up, took the microphone, and winged it.  And had the audience laughing almost immediately.

Chatting with the guy at the register at Whole Foods, whipping up an email to voice my complaint about a faulty product, keeping a lively conversation going with my neighborhood-whom-I-see-maybe-five-times-a-year--I can do it all with aplomb.

So when I find myself at a loss for words, it's because either a) I'm so angry/stunned/hurt that words fail me, or b) I'm burned out.

Hello, letter B.

Contests are easy--they run themselves.  (Well, mostly.)  Success stories are easy--someone else writes them.  And Friday Fricassee has a feel all its own.  Sometimes I get stuck on it, but usually it flows just fine.

It's weeks like this -- fallow weeks between contests -- that put the pressure on me to be lively and entertaining and informative.  Usually I'm up for the challenge!  But sometimes...ugh.

I'll be fair to myself.  I've just finished a challenging revision (hooray!) while keeping my WIP moving forward (woot! woot!).  Words have been leaking from my fingers while I sleep.  So, yeah.  Word overload.

And I don't take lightly what I choose to say here.  You're important to me.  A sort of "tribe", if you will.  I care about the integrity of the blog for your sake.  I want to foster the sense of community here every time I set my hands to the keyboard.  I root for you, I talk about you, I pray for you.

Yes, I do.

You've given so much to this place, and so much to me.  You've been the safety net I never expected--the cheering, low and steady, that has kept me, sometimes, from utter despair.  All this for running a blog for writers?  I am truly blessed.

So I have this incredible sense of I-don't-want-to-let-you-down.  Yes, that's part of my personality.  (Authoress, the gal-who-doesn't-ever-want-to-make-a-mistake.)  But it's also a responsibility thing.  I'm here as a resource, and that's an important role.  I take it seriously.

The good news is that I don't take myself seriously.  And I'm learning, more and more each year, how to give myself grace.  That's been hard.

Well.  Look at that.  I've written a blog post!  And all I had to do was to focus on how valuable you are, not only as readers, but as fellow wordsmiths and human beings.

Thank you for being an inspiration!