First Line Grabber: Final Critique Round

Here we go!

Please feel free to leave your critique at any time during the remainder of this week.  And keep your eyes out for critique from author Jodi Meadows and participating agents, who will be using their real names in the comments.

As always, please avoid snark while staying honest.

And?  A round of applause to our 5 winners, who are probably feeling a little naked right now.  May this critique round produce WONDERFUL things for you!