TITLE: DUDE (LOOKS LIKE A LADY)
GENRE: YA Contemporary
If I hear another song from Grease, I'm going to freaking punch someone.
Ever since the spring musical was announced, my sister's done nothing but sing songs from the show: in the bathroom; at dinner; in the car, to and from school. Like, right now. Alexandra's bouncing in the passenger seat, singing, occasionally primping her ponytail in the side mirror when there's an apparent break in the lyrics. And I say apparent because she's singing along to the music from her iPod, earbuds plugged in, so all I get to hear is her.
The singing's not horrible. Actually, Alexandra's got a pretty awesome voice (not that I'd ever tell her that), but "Summer Nights" 24/7? Her and Dylan doing the "Hand Jive" in the living room for the past two months? Singing a stanza over and over again until it's perfect?
Someone please kill me.
I crank up Panama's stereo and try to tune out her a cappella performance with Aerosmith. Alexandra flashes me a pitiful sneer, huffs dramatically, then sings louder. I yank a bud out of her ear and point at my stereo.
"Ow!" she exclaims.
"Do you mind?"
She tsks. "I'm rehearsing for my callback today, thank you very much, and I have to make sure it's flawless. I'd have the best junior year ever if Mr. Fonda cast me as Sandy." She pulls down the passenger-side mirror, appraises herself, and sings, "Look at me, I'm Sandra Dee-"
"Lousy with virginity," I mutter. "Yep. You're perfect for the part."
This is great. I love the voice and the snark. I would read on.
ReplyDeleteThis is immensely entertaining. It's funny, with the exact amount of snark I'd expect from a brother toward his sister. I would definitely read more.
ReplyDeleteGreat voice. Perfect snark. Sounds like a fun read. I love the title and the reference to Aerosmith early on. Rather a scathing remark at the end though...I'm wondering about their relationship. I'm assuming MC is an older brother. I'd keep reading just to find out more.
ReplyDeleteThis is immensely entertaining. It's funny, with the exact amount of snark I'd expect from a brother toward his sister. I would definitely read more.
ReplyDelete(Sorry for the repeat comment, I couldn't sign in earlier!)
This is hilarious! I want to choke Alexandra, which means you immediately have me rooting for the MC. I don't have a clue what the story's about or what the MC's goal is, but the voice and her/his humor has me wanting to back her/him all the way.
ReplyDeleteGreat voice and good sibling relationship! I like the personality we see from the very first line. I agree that I'm not sure what the story's about, but that's hard to fit in the first 250 words sometimes. I'd keep reading to find out! Good job and good luck!
ReplyDeleteI like the voice and characters already -- I would keep reading! But I think your opening could be stronger if you started a little bit later in this scene. The first line and first few paragraphs don't grab me as much as they could. You could explain about the musical being announced afterward, and start out with the singing or the argument. The last line made me laugh. :)
ReplyDeleteI love your writing. The character's voice is so strong in this one. I love the vibe between the siblings, and musicals! I would keep reading. Good luck.
ReplyDeleteNice job with the voice! Be careful, though, not to sacrifice grammar for style. At least not too much. It's the kind of thing that you want to be pretty selective about in a first person narrative. I do enjoy the characters and setup here, though!
ReplyDeleteThis sounds like a great read! I love the MC's voice. Good luck!
ReplyDelete