TITLE: The Totally True Tales of Tansy Berry, Tooth Ferry
In my line of work, being seen by a client is like being stranded on a desert island with no toothbrush - and I never leave home without my toothbrush. Sixteen hours later I still hadn’t lost that metallic tang of fear, even after three rounds with my Oral-B. Luckily, I kept a stick of gum on hand for just such an emergency. It’s the kind that four out of five dentists recommend, and every time I chew it I wonder about that fifth dentist.
This wasn’t the first incident on my record, but it was the first since Ruth Canal had taken over as Chief Extraction Officer and that woman made me nervous. Even a nice warm cup of peppermint tea hadn’t helped to calm the butterflies in my stomach. I probably shouldn’t have eaten so many for lunch.
Just kidding. Tooth Ferries don’t eat insects. At least most of us don’t.
Other Tooth Ferry Myths
1. Most important - We are not actually fairies. That particular myth got started because of our job description and has been almost impossible to shake. We ferry – that is, we carry - teeth from one location to another. We have no relation to the tiny creatures who live under mushrooms, drink the nectar of flowers, and flit about.
2. We do have wings, but they aren’t real - more like a badge. We earn them when we complete the rigorous training program. More on that later.
3. Our pay scale is not based on pain.