TITLE: You'd Better Run
GENRE: New Adult Fiction - humor
Evelyn deWilde took my dog.
She sent a text: “This isn’t working out...”
I found her doing deWilde thing with the guy across the hall one day after she returned from rehab.
The message ended with, “I’m leaving.”
That made sense. But she took my Mojo.
Mojo's a golden retriever, a gift from my previolus girlfriend, Yu Sasha Foo. Foo was frightened off by a stolen steam roller. You know, those giant machines with fat round drums at the front and the back that are used to compress asphalt and cartoon characters?
A man named Ishmael, apparently named after a character in Moby Dick, hijacked the machine thinking he could roll out of town. Yu, who had spent the day drinking Sake with her sister Suki, thought she could stop this midget-with-a-mission with her words.
Luckily, Yu jumped clear of the slow roller, but she took the near-squish experience as a sign and returned to her family in Bangkok.
Ishmael only made it a few more streets. His ride tipped when he tangled with a hard-to-foget Hummer. Ish eventually left town with a woman from down the street. Neighbors told me in hushed whispers they’d discovered her name from her mailbox. They continued to spread the rumor that Ish ran away with A. Spoon.
I didn’t believe it. I met Alice Spoon one night while walking Mojo. She was a kind woman but so unhealthy, she couldn’t run a block.
Anyway, I miss Foo and Mojo. Evelyn deWilde, not so much.