Yep, this works for MG. I like the juxtaposition of her living in a park (what a bummer) with her description of it (she seems to take pride in it). It's surprising and that would make me read on. Nice job!
My first impression is that this is told from the POV of an animal, which I find very interesting. I would keep reading. He or she is obviously very proud to live in THE park. Nicely done.
Cool. Sounds like a young MC, definitely middle grade. She (is it a she? Please be a she!) sounds like a spunky, adventurous person writing a journal. The first sentence is very stereotypical of journal. (I am ________ and I live in ________.)
Great voice. You nailed the MG voice. I'm just wondering why they live in a park. I would read more to find out.
ReplyDeleteYep, this works for MG. I like the juxtaposition of her living in a park (what a bummer) with her description of it (she seems to take pride in it). It's surprising and that would make me read on. Nice job!
ReplyDeleteGreat mg voice. I'd keep reading to find out why she lives in a park.
ReplyDeleteNice MG voice! I'm right there in the setting and torn between thinking she's a poor kid or -- maybe not a kid at all. Good work!
ReplyDeleteChristina
Nailed the voice. Great job!
ReplyDeleteLove this! We don't know if she's poor, child of the park caretaker, an animal or what, but it still sets the scene for me. I want to read on!
ReplyDeleteA setting builds in my mind, and so does a young character. Good job!
ReplyDeleteMy first impression is that this is told from the POV of an animal, which I find very interesting. I would keep reading. He or she is obviously very proud to live in THE park. Nicely done.
ReplyDeleteCool. Sounds like a young MC, definitely middle grade. She (is it a she? Please be a she!) sounds like a spunky, adventurous person writing a journal. The first sentence is very stereotypical of journal. (I am ________ and I live in ________.)
ReplyDeleteHas a Boxcar Children feel to it.