TITLE: Skyline
GENRE: YA Contemporary
After they drifted apart and decided to move on from the past, four teenagers reunite to help their depressed classmate, and ex-friend, Josh. When grudges, crushes, and complicated feelings for Josh get in the way of success, they have to confront their own struggles and come to grips with their shared past--before Josh ends everything for good. SKYLINE is a 100K word novel with multiple perspectives.
It was the greatest torture method ever devised by humanity, a practice so cruel and vicious it would break even the strongest hearts, an invention which put the circles of hell to shame.
Ballroom dancing lessons.
YES - The pitch was just okay for me, but I really loved the first sentences.
ReplyDeleteYES, I would read on
ReplyDeleteYES
ReplyDeleteThe pitch was okay, not sure you need "decided to move on from the past" as I think that happens when people drift apart. I loved the first lines. No denying how the narrator feels about ballroom dancing.
NO
ReplyDeleteThe pitch was too vague for me, although the first lines are very strong. I'd want to know a bit more about these 4 teenagers so that I can get invested.
NO. Even though I adore the first lines, the pitch didn't ground me enough. I think you might start with what happened in the past, then tell us they drifted apart, then introduce current crisis with Josh. You can save the housekeeping (title and word count) for the query letter to add more plot deets to the pitch.
ReplyDeleteYES The pitch worked fine, but the opening sentence goes on a bit too long. Use words that work on multiple levels. Then you don't need so many.
ReplyDeleteYES: I'm not the biggest fan of the pitch. It's probably more of a me thing though because I dont tend to read a lot of contemporary. However, those are some killer opening lines! There's immediate voice and humor. Good luck :)
ReplyDeleteYES
ReplyDeleteLove the first lines. I think you could just say Four Friends help their depressed classmate... instead as we will get that when we read.