Tuesday, October 1, 2019

Hook the Editor #5

TITLE: Persephone's Waltz
GENRE: Adult Fantasy

Holy Maiden Ysabel has four months left to live. Then she stops the assassination of Dark Lord Kaine, a trans man leading a rebel army. In gratitude, he rescues her from becoming a human sacrifice—by kidnapping her. Hades X Persephone meets the humor of Terry Pratchett and the world-building of N.K. Jemisin.

I have four months, three weeks, and two days left to live. Yet here I sit, wasting a precious hour attending the Council of Cardinals.


  1. Yes! Love this premise, and such a great beginning!

  2. YES

    i don't know if you need the "trans man" part in your pitch since it doesn't connect to the story, but I'm interested enough to keep reading.

  3. YES
    The pitch intrigued me, though I am unsure of why the "trans man" part is here. I don't think we need it for the pitch. From the opening lines I would keep reading.

  4. YES
    The pitch is strong, and the first two lines have great voice.

  5. YES. Fresh premise. Fresh voice. Great job.

  6. YES: I like the pitch a lot. My only critique would be to answer why does she have only have four months to live? The opening lines work very well. Good luck :)

  7. YES
    I have a number of questions that would keep me reading. I feel like the story will be full of surprises.