Tuesday, October 1, 2019

Hook the Editor #9

TITLE: Sugar Bea
GENRE: YA Contemporary

For seventeen-year-old Bea, the scale has finally tipped in her favor to become head chef at The Art Haus, a Macon hotspot. But a new flame, seasoned sous chefs, and diabetes all threaten to outweigh her ambition.

This is the sweetest day of my life, but I can’t share it with Momma. She wouldn’t understand, so my secret love affair has to continue a bit longer.


  1. Yes - I think it's a great opening. :)

  2. NO
    Maybe I am too old, but seems a little too unrealistic for me that a 17yr old would become a head chef. The part I liked the best was the set up of diabetes threatening her dreams. This is real and something I think people would connect with. The opening lines didn't pull me one way or the other so I would probably read more to see if I wanted to read the whole thing.

  3. YES
    I'm a little confused about what the situation is so it might be good to tweak the pitch to be a little clearer, but I'm intrigued by a character who loves to cook, but also has to manage her diabetes.

  4. NO
    It's almost a yes for me. I feel like it would be fun, but I want some more specifics in the pitch so I can start to get engaged. I like the first lines, though.

  5. NO A seventeen year-old is not head-chef material, thus it feels unrealistic. I love the inclusion of diabetes and cooking, though and there are some great possibilities. What if she is a sous chef? That will give greater potential for tension, which is what you want.