Tuesday, October 1, 2019

Hook the Editor #8

TITLE: Book of Blood
GENRE: Adult Dark Fantasy

Breaking Bad with magic
In a dying world, secretly supported by blood magic, an ambitious princess marries a prince who forces her into debt. Conflicting forces are battling over power in the city and she is caught in the cross-fires, her household slaughtered. Will she be able to take back control over her life through the discovery of blood magic? 

"There had been much debate over who was going to do the killing. In the end Ikuta volunteered."


  1. YES. Cool and exciting opening!

    For the pitch, I think you could be more specific: what does "Conflicting forces" mean? And how is the main character in any position to fight for power if her household is dead? I'm curious about the Breaking Bad aspect and I think you could play that up more than the marriage, unless the marriage is important to the plot.

  2. NO
    I was initially interested, but then it fell apart for me. I thought the blood magic was going to play a bigger part (I'm sure it does in the story). I envisioned the prince forcing her into blood debt, like using her blood for magic. Anyway, just had a different idea of where the story was going.

  3. NO
    The pitch is not specific enough. Even though there are conflicts, there's not quite enough to let me know the character enough to get me invested in her story.

  4. NO, the opening lines are great, although I think they work better without being dialogue, but the pitch confused me. How can a world rely on something that no one knows about? NO, sorry.