No, but only because I don't get any sense for the story out of this sentence. Maybe if you added who said it and some details, I would get a better feel for it!
No. I don't like reading dialogue without knowing who's speaking or any kind of context. By the time I'm caught up, I've forgotten what they're talking about.
No. Even if this is setting up the conflict of the story, it's phrased in a rather unremarkable way. Would like to see who's saying it, perhaps open with the speaker and his/her body language conveying the gravity of the situation -- and perhaps even any other conflicts with whoever is listening.
No. It's just not enough information or promise of information to pull me in. I think if it was fleshed out even just a tiny bit more, I'd change my mind.
No, though I could be persuaded to read the second sentence. The quotation marks threw me, so maybe it's just this format—isolating the first line from its context—that put me off? I just wasn't sure if you'd made a mistake (like, you were quoting your own manuscript) or if someone was speaking (or thinking).
No. I'm not a fan of unattributed lines of speech to start novels, especially when they further hide what's being talked about under the heading of 'logistics'.
Yes it worked but I would love a speech tag with a bit of action with it. Supposed that all of that was coming in the next sentence, huh? :D Either way, I'd obviously keep reading
No. If this were a Thriller or Suspense, I'd read on because I would think they were planning something epic. With this being Commercial Fiction, it just makes me think of a board meeting.
No, because I don't like unattributed dialogue at the beginning of the story. But if you changed it to narration -- The logistics were going to be hell -- the short, punchiness would be a plus.
No--It may work well with comes after it, but as a single line with no context, it's a no for me. It doesn't mean anything, it doesn't tell me anything, it doesn't hint at anything specific. And because it doesn't, I don't have a clue as to what to suggest.
No. Was it a thought? A dialogue line? I'd like some action along with it to know what's going on.
ReplyDeleteYes. It's so short that it being so non-specific doesn't bother me. I'd read on so long as context or comedy popped up very shortly thereafter.
ReplyDeleteYes. Sometimes short and vague works, and this one does because it hints at intrigue and possibly a touch of humor.
ReplyDeleteYes.
ReplyDeleteStarting with a short, sharp line of dialogue like this promises a fast pace.
No. I'm generally not grabbed by dialogue in the first sentence.
ReplyDeleteNo: too vague.
ReplyDeleteNo. I need more than that.
ReplyDeleteNo, but only because I don't get any sense for the story out of this sentence. Maybe if you added who said it and some details, I would get a better feel for it!
ReplyDeleteToss-up - So little to go on. I'd probably read long enough to see who was speaking and more about the situation.
ReplyDeleteYes. I liked how we were plunged straight in and this triggered lots if questions for me.
ReplyDeleteNo. I've heard this line before.
ReplyDeleteYes, but the next few lines would be the make it or break it material. Anything being hell has potential for drama.
ReplyDeleteNo. Too "telling" without a context to make sense of it.
ReplyDeleteYes, but heavily dependant on what comes next. I don't like starting with dialogue, but I would certainly read on from this.
ReplyDeleteYes, because this is dialogue, and as long as whatever comes next fills this out a bit more.
ReplyDeleteNo. I don't like reading dialogue without knowing who's speaking or any kind of context. By the time I'm caught up, I've forgotten what they're talking about.
ReplyDeleteNo, reluctantly. It's vague enough to encourage me to read on, but it lacks enough detail to give me an idea of what might be coming next.
ReplyDeleteYes, though it breaks the "rules" , it grabs.
ReplyDeleteI'm split right down the middle
ReplyDeleteI'm intrigued by what is going to cause the ligistics to be hell, but there's really nothing else to grab me
No, but that could easily change with a second sentence.
ReplyDeleteYes. Intrigued me enough to get me to read on.
ReplyDeleteGreat first sentence.
ReplyDeleteYES!
ReplyDeleteNo. Even if this is setting up the conflict of the story, it's phrased in a rather unremarkable way. Would like to see who's saying it, perhaps open with the speaker and his/her body language conveying the gravity of the situation -- and perhaps even any other conflicts with whoever is listening.
ReplyDeleteNo. It's just not enough information or promise of information to pull me in. I think if it was fleshed out even just a tiny bit more, I'd change my mind.
ReplyDeleteNo, though I could be persuaded to read the second sentence. The quotation marks threw me, so maybe it's just this format—isolating the first line from its context—that put me off? I just wasn't sure if you'd made a mistake (like, you were quoting your own manuscript) or if someone was speaking (or thinking).
ReplyDeleteNo. Not a fan of opening with dialogue. I need some context before we get to this line. I'd prefer to start with character.
ReplyDeleteNo. I'm not a fan of unattributed lines of speech to start novels, especially when they further hide what's being talked about under the heading of 'logistics'.
ReplyDeleteYes it worked but I would love a speech tag with a bit of action with it. Supposed that all of that was coming in the next sentence, huh? :D Either way, I'd obviously keep reading
ReplyDeleteYes. It's got a good voice and for the genre, I'd hang in after that sentence. It's vague, but in a 'wonder what logistics' way, not a 'huh?' way.
ReplyDeleteNo. It feels generic to me. I think I've read this same sentence in many classic SF novels.
ReplyDeleteI'm not sure, it doesn't read like SF, at first I thought murder mystery...
ReplyDeleteYes! I like quippy dialogue, even if I don't know what it's in reference to.
ReplyDeleteYes.
ReplyDeleteYes. Simple but nice tone.
ReplyDeleteNo. If this were a Thriller or Suspense, I'd read on because I would think they were planning something epic. With this being Commercial Fiction, it just makes me think of a board meeting.
ReplyDeleteNo, because I don't like unattributed dialogue at the beginning of the story. But if you changed it to narration -- The logistics were going to be hell -- the short, punchiness would be a plus.
ReplyDeleteNo.
ReplyDeleteThis is an "I can't explain why" moment. It just doesn't work for me.
Yes. I want to know more.
ReplyDeleteYes. Even though this is really short, I've got a great feel/image already happening for the person this voice belongs to.
ReplyDeleteYes. Liked the voice and you got me wondering: the logistics of what.
ReplyDeleteNo--It may work well with comes after it, but as a single line with no context, it's a no for me. It doesn't mean anything, it doesn't tell me anything, it doesn't hint at anything specific. And because it doesn't, I don't have a clue as to what to suggest.
ReplyDeleteYes. I'm intrigued, I want to know what is going on, and who's speaking. It sounds like an interesting starting point to me.
ReplyDeleteNo. I'm not a fan of opening with dialogue without context. Even one line ahead of this to tell me who or where or why would make all the difference.
ReplyDelete