TITLE: Alien Academy
GENRE: YA SF
Sam began his first press conference with three handicaps. The tattoo on his face looked vicious on screen, a twenty foot poster of him hung in the lobby, and worst of all, he hadn't gotten to eat since hitting Earth and the jump sickness grew every minute.
Hooked!
ReplyDeleteNitpicks: twenty-foot should be hyphenated, and it might be better if the first sentence ends in a colon, introducing his handicaps.
Great intro! You've introduced not one but about five compelling questions I want to know the answers to, so I'd definitely keep reading.
ReplyDeleteI think this is great, especially considering the fun title. Good Luck : )
ReplyDeleteGreat opening as is! You make me wonder who he is and why he's having the press conference. The tattoo and the poster give me clues as to who he might be, and Earth and jump sickness tell me about the world he lives in. Nicely done!
ReplyDeleteI love everything about this. Absolutely great! And the title is amazing.
ReplyDeleteLots of questions I need answering here - so of course, I'd have to read on! :)
ReplyDeleteThis is great. I'd definitely read on. I must know what this jump sickness is.
ReplyDeleteI want to know more. Great job! I agree with using a colon before listing his handicaps.
ReplyDeleteI agree that you need a colon. Otherwise, I'd keep reading. I'm intrigued. :D
ReplyDeleteI'd read on, for sure!
ReplyDelete