Miss Snark's First Victim
As first sentences go, this one doesn't really give us much to go on. Not really hooked. Sorry :-(
Wouldn't a cresent moon be too small to light a street?I have to agree, not strong enough to grab me. sorry.
Pure description and slightly awkward wording. Perhaps try to use words that would convey the tone you're going for? This reads quite matter of fact - I don't get a sense of foreboding or danger or anything like that. I'm not hooked to read further.
For some reason it makes me think of the first Harry Potter. Yeesh, sorry. I know, it has nothing to do with HP.
You could just leave it at, "The street light flickered and then blinked out, leaving only the crescent moon."I'm with Stina on the HP comparison. But I'd read on.
It was a dark and stormy night.... No real hook, just descriptive.
I assume there's some significance to the streetlights going out: government imposed curfew, light-sucking demon, crumbling of civilization etc. If so, maybe provide some sense of /who/what/why, and what emotion the darkness has elicited in the MC?
I don't mind this. But I'm wondering who's narrating if the street is empty. Someone watching through a window? And my first thought agrees with Terri, I don't think the crescent moon would light the street. Maybe the full moon. Plus with the moon cycles...well, nevermind. But sometimes crescents don't come up until way later, they're visible during the day...yeah. I'm not liking the crescent part of the moon. But other than that, I don't mind. Cuz something's going to happen...
I think I might actually like more with the first sentence...more in depth to the streetlight perhaps, the sizzle of the filament dying, the slow fade to black...than the more cliche 'flickered and blinked out etc...'It's an urban fantasy,I'd like to see, smell, taste, touch, and feel that bulb burning out to set a stronger mood...
Sorry, not hooked.
Nope. Start with action rather than description. Give us a person doing something.
Not hooked, sorry. The description does nothing to intrigues me, and I prefer to see characters or a set up that I can care about, not setting.
Okay, this tells me nothing. I mean, I wouldn't close the book and walk off, but you haven't grabbed me.
So the title is "Light Bringers" and you start off by describing the light (or lack thereof). That works for me. However, I do agree with Terri (above) asking whether a crescent moon is strong enough to light a street. I'm not sure it would work!
This opening gives me a strong sense of setting and mood. I'd read on!
There's nothing remarkable about it, but I LIKE openings that set a scene...as long as they don't drag on forever and ever. If your next few sentences move on, then I'd keep reading!
It's very nice imagery, but ditto on the critters who said nothing is really happening here to advance the plot forward--just setting the scene in which it happens. I'd suggest starting with some action or dialogue to draw readers in. Good luck!
The HP comparison (as Stina & macaronipants pointed out) was the first thing to come to mind. Following that, felt like the mood was being set, hinting at something more.
This would work for me if there was a person on that street - straight descrip isn't enough, sorry.
Well, I'm not hooked, but I'd keep going. It's a decent enough setting set up.Fred