TITLE: QUANTUM
GENRE: YA Science Fiction
17 year-old Willow is like Schrodinger’s cat. She can be in 2 places at once but only keeps one set of memories, unless she can learn to navigate both realities. She risks losing her family, her first love, and possibly her life.
I like this concept, but then I'm a cat person (don't tell my dog or guinea pig!)
ReplyDeleteI think you need to combine the first two sentences since this is really just her character description and you can't use all of your words on this. Next, give us her goal. Is it to keep both memories (and if so why?) Finally, tell us what will make this difficult and be more specific about why not doing so will make her lose her family/love/life. Are they only in one reality? (If so, really cool concept!)
Good luck!
Holly
This sounds fun, but the first bit needs to be sectioned off differently and the final goal needs to be bigger. EX:
ReplyDelete17-(hypen)year-old Willow is like Schrodinger’s cat--she can be in two (spell out) places at once. But she only keeps one set of memories, and unless she learns to navigate both realities both worlds will implode.
Very cool concept. But why would she want to keep both memories? If you explain this better, the logline will be even more compelling.
ReplyDeleteLove the concept. I think if we knew more about why she needs to keep both sets of memories, we'll understand the stakes better. Good luck!
ReplyDeleteI'm intrigued! I'd love to know what kicks off the story as well (inciting incident in Holly B-speak). When and why does this ability create a conflict?
ReplyDeleteI agree that the inciting event could help clarify the logline. Has Willow always been like S's cat or is this a new discovery of hers that she needs to navigate/solve? Really interesting bringing in Schrodinger:)
ReplyDeleteReally cool concept, only I'm not sure I would use the Schrodinger's Cat bit. If so, I should have thought she would have died, or the world come to a sticky end, in one of the realities long ago. Guess I'll have to read the book! I look forward to (hopefully) being able to read the opening in On The Block!
ReplyDeleteReally cool concept, only I'm not sure I would use the Schrodinger's Cat bit. If so, I should have thought she would have died, or the world come to a sticky end, in one of the realities long ago. Guess I'll have to read the book! I look forward to (hopefully) being able to read the opening in On The Block!
ReplyDeleteI like the idea a lot. The second sentence feels generic--since you're comparing her to a cat, I sort of want that second sentence to feel like dangled twine ....
ReplyDelete