Wednesday, August 24, 2016

Logline Critique Round #4

TITLE: Uneven
GENRE: YA Contemporary

A former elite gymnast struggles to adjust to life as a “normal” high school student after a traumatic and life-defining incident causes her to give up the sport.

4 comments:

  1. I would start this off with the incident since that is what incites your story. After that, tell us more about what she actually has to achieve. Being "normal" is not a tangible goal for a single story.

    Good luck!
    Holly

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  2. Need, inciting incident, goal, obstacles Need: to be Normal? Inciting incident: a traumatic injury? Goal: Not sure what her concrete goal is? Obstacles: has to give up gymnastics, has injury. It sounds like a great story--but I'm unclear as to what the goal is.

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  3. Great Title. There's a lot of possibilities here. Does she still eat like a pro athlete? What does she do with her free time? How do old teammates react? Did she have a pushy parent? What is their relationship like now? Is she a driven sort that needs to find a new activity to drill into? Ok, I'm getting away with myself here. I suggest focusing on the one thing she loves and or hates the most in normal life, and why she can't get it, and or escape it. Cheers!

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  4. I like the title, too. I agree that we could use a concrete inciting incident, but this is great and to the point.

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