TITLE: The Mistake
GENRE: Thriller
Against the advice of my mentor, I keep a gun in my drawer. Harvey says a lawyer with a gun in his desk will eventually use it either on a client or on himself. Harvey's almost sixty and thinks he knows everything.
I open the drawer and reach for it.
Oh my I am hooked. Great opening.
ReplyDeleteGreat job!
ReplyDeleteGood opening. Would definitely read on. Is Harvey right or not? Gotta see.
ReplyDeleteHooked. And I like the title.
ReplyDeleteYep, I'm hooked, too. Nice job.
ReplyDeleteHooked.
ReplyDeleteGood opening . . . I'm hooked!
ReplyDeleteHooked. I'm especially interested because the title makes me think he's going to do something terrible.
ReplyDeleteLove it! Great start, I'm hooked. Very well done.
ReplyDeleteHooked.
ReplyDeleteGood voice. I'd read on.
ReplyDeleteHooked. Nice job.
ReplyDeleteHooked. Nice opening.
ReplyDeleteI'd definitely read on. ^_^
ReplyDeleteHooked, although there's a disjointedness about this that I find troubling.
ReplyDeleteHowever, the impression that disjointedness gives me is that the main character is mentally a bit unhinged. If that's what you're trying to get across, it works well.
I really like this and want to know which option the main character takes - uses the gun on himself or a client
ReplyDeleteHooked. Would definitely read more.
ReplyDeleteI like this. The second sentence is cleverly worded, and I really want to know why he's reaching for this gun. Good job.
ReplyDeleteClean. Hooked.
ReplyDeleteHooked.
ReplyDeleteNice job.
Hooked! Great set up.
ReplyDeleteOMG--I just realized this was in present tense. It takes some good writing for me to miss that!
ReplyDeleteI'm hooked...
ReplyDeleteThis is the first one that has hooked me (I am reading them in backwards order though).
ReplyDelete