Wednesday, October 29, 2008

19 Drop The Needle TENSION

Genre: Time-travel Romance
Part of the wedding night scene. Lukas has told Lexy the marriage will not be consummated.

She took her nightgown and glanced warily at the screen. Only one thing stood between her and the comfortable clothes.

“Can you?” she asked, turning her back to him. “It’s only that Margaret normally helps. I can’t undo them by myself yet.”

He rustled behind her and the skin on the back of her neck prickled as he drew near. A sigh, exhaled in a rugged breath, ruffled her hair. She closed her eyes. Then his hands, unsure and tentative, gently undid her laces. Each slowly tugged loose, until he reached the small of her back. His fingers froze for a moment and then leisurely slid to either side of her waist. Her breath caught.


  1. Oh romance... :) I'd keep going. Good writing, I like the protagonist (I have a feeling she purposely asked him to undo her laces...). I'd want to know more about the plot before I'd buy it, but if I had flipped to this scene in a bookstore, I definitely wouldn't stop here.

  2. Um, more please! I really like this.

  3. Good tension, yes! I agree with sraasch, it seems that Lexy is asking him to undo the laces because of him telling her the marriage would not be consummated.

  4. Sexual tension is always a good thing. 8^)

  5. It was good. I didn't get the 'ruffled hair' though. It didn't flow with the sentence.

    I would read on though.

  6. Not sure I'd call this tension so much as anticipation. There's nothing "at risk" in the scene, nor hinted in the coming scene, for me to automatically identify it as tension.

  7. Yeppers. I can feel the tension!

    Lots of interesting bits from this novel over the different contests. I would like to read more.

  8. Wonderful romantic tension. I could feel the ragged sigh...

    Next page, please. :)

  9. What a lovely, delicate way of phrasing sexual tension. I like it! I'd keep going.

    About the sigh: Did you mean "rugged" or "ragged"?