TITLE: Yellow-bellied Wussy Loser
GENRE: MG Humorous Adventure
Danny has been swept up in a plot to kidnap Punxsutawney Phil, the famous groundhog. In this scene, Danny intends to slyly replace the sleeping groundhog with a stuffed animal while his partner runs interference.
I held my breath and inched my hands closer and closer and eased my fingers up against his fur. He wasn’t as soft as I had expected. His hairs were a little pokey, as if petting a soft warm broom. I smiled. He felt nice.
Then blip, Phil’s angry head popped up. He bared his sharp rabid teeth, whistled some sort of sacred rodent attack signal, and galloped up my arms. Paralyzed with fear, I watched the eyes roll back in his head, like Jaws does before he bites a surfer’s face off. But Phil flew past my head, across my back, launching onto the tree trunk behind me.
I finally broke through the frozen terror and stood up. Then I was stuck again trying to figure out if I should scream like a four-year-old or just ball up in the fetal position and suck my thumb.
Before I could decide, Phillip Zezinka screeched, “ARRRGGHH! He’s awake, run for your life!” He dropped the squeegee and zipped across the aquarium, diving through the open hatch and clanging it shut.
I stood there completely shocked out of my own fear by two thoughts. First, Phillip Zezinka turned out to be quite the wuss himself. Second, why wasn't I following his lead?
The spectators on the outside of the glass caught my attention as they slapped each other with laughter and pointed up at the tree trunk. I looked up to see Punxsutawney Phil plunge into a flying squirrel, kamikaze jump.