I have no idea what a 'sticky brain' is but I love it!
If your story is going to parallel Jane Eyre then I feel you may lose me quickly. But if your whole story keeps this voice, I may stick around a little longer.
I like the title. The 'or else' was distracting to me. I wanted to know 'or else what?' But you didn't go there. You went on to the sticky brain, which is also intriguing and probably more relevant to the plot. Perhaps cut the 'or else' for now and bring it up later?
Intriguing. I want to know what a sticky brain is. I also like the title--but I agree with Vincent ; I hope it's alluding to Jane Eyre, and not a mashup.
I have no idea what a 'sticky brain' is but I love it!
ReplyDeleteIf your story is going to parallel Jane Eyre then I feel you may lose me quickly. But if your whole story keeps this voice, I may stick around a little longer.
THis is a little awkward for me. I would rework the sentence, maybe break it up?
ReplyDeleteI LOVE the title. I also like the voice and would definitely keep reading.
ReplyDeleteI like the title. The 'or else' was distracting to me. I wanted to know 'or else what?' But you didn't go there. You went on to the sticky brain, which is also intriguing and probably more relevant to the plot. Perhaps cut the 'or else' for now and bring it up later?
ReplyDeleteIntriguing. I want to know what a sticky brain is. I also like the title--but I agree with Vincent ; I hope it's alluding to Jane Eyre, and not a mashup.
ReplyDeleteInteresting...I'd drop the university after Columbia.
ReplyDeletenice!
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