So I'm not sure if these are the first 25 words, or simply 25 random words, but I can tell you that I'd read on from here! Very catchy and informative even though you don't understand how 'pausing the world' is even possible. I'd love to know more!
And the sleeping through the whole thing, totally something I would do!
I liked the accidentally pausing the world concept a lot, and then I find out the MC slept through it! A) How do you sleep through something like that, and B) If you slept through it how do you know it happened? Now this is a story I got to hear.
The premise would keep me reading a bit longer. Fantastic idea!
But I'd also be wary of what's to come become I have the same questions TKastle had, and this starts off the way so many first person stories start - with chit chat rather than story. And then there's that 'The first time I accidentally --' which implies she's going to continue to 'accidentally' pause the world, which could get tedious.(as opposed to doing it on purpose, which allows for more movement in the story.)
Awesome! Totally hooked in one sentence.
ReplyDeleteSo I'm not sure if these are the first 25 words, or simply 25 random words, but I can tell you that I'd read on from here! Very catchy and informative even though you don't understand how 'pausing the world' is even possible. I'd love to know more!
ReplyDeleteAnd the sleeping through the whole thing, totally something I would do!
I loved this. Love that the narrator slept through the first time. So hooked!
ReplyDeleteGreat hook. I'd read on, depending on whether the follow up is related to this.
ReplyDeleteThere really isn't anything I'd change. Hooked!
ReplyDeleteI liked the accidentally pausing the world concept a lot, and then I find out the MC slept through it!
ReplyDeleteA) How do you sleep through something like that, and B) If you slept through it how do you know it happened? Now this is a story I got to hear.
Great first sentence. It's got everything you need. Definitely hooked.
ReplyDeleteThe premise would keep me reading a bit longer. Fantastic idea!
ReplyDeleteBut I'd also be wary of what's to come become I have the same questions TKastle had, and this starts off the way so many first person stories start - with chit chat rather than story. And then there's that 'The first time I accidentally --' which implies she's going to continue to 'accidentally' pause the world, which could get tedious.(as opposed to doing it on purpose, which allows for more movement in the story.)
I loved this - grabbed my interest and made me go wow! Well done.
ReplyDeleteThough I know little about the main character, I know enough that I want to read on. Great sentence.
ReplyDeleteIntrigued and want to read on. How in heck does one pause the world AND sleep through it?
ReplyDeleteLOVE IT!
ReplyDeleteAwfully amusing, and intriguing. I'd read more.
ReplyDeleteOh, That's just awesome! If the rest of the page doesn't shake me off, I'm yours for the rest of the book.
ReplyDeleteI hope the nex few sentences are as great as this one.
ReplyDeleteThanks for all the positive feedback!
ReplyDelete