TITLE: Daughters of Brigit
GENRE: Young adult
Grace and Dillon sat on the porch swing, moving themselves lazily back and forth. His arm was draped around her and she leaned into his chest, smelling the clean scent of his shirt. She dreaded leaving him, even for a few days and wanted to prolong the good-bye for as long as possible. At the same time, she looked forward to getting down to Maryland and investigating their family history. The intensity of their feelings had only built with every moment they spent together and knowing she wouldn't see him for three days made her bold.
"Dillon?"
"Mmm-hmm?"
She could see his profile in the fading light, he leaned back against the swing, eyes closed.
"Look at me," she whispered.
He turned toward her and she leaned up to meet her lips with his. They were softer than she expected. He was still for a fraction of a second before he pulled her to him, tangling his hand in her hair and searching her mouth with his. His other arm slid up her back and held her close. The world fell away leaving only the two of them spinning through a perfect moment. When he stopped kissing her, he looked at her, his eyes glinting in the dark.
"You are something, Grace Donegan."
"Something good, I hope?" She grinned impishly.
This was nice. Sweet. I liked it.
ReplyDeleteWouldn't change a thing.
ReplyDelete*sigh*
ReplyDeletevery nice - loved the description of how he reacts to her kiss. Can't think of any constructives! Nice work.
ReplyDeleteLove that last line! Not sure why, but the word BOLD made it feel historical for me. :o)
ReplyDeleteLove it! I love that she kisses him and I love their last two lines. Very nicely done
ReplyDeleteThe first paragraph is too much telling, not enough showing. But after that it gets REALLY good! Love the last line.
ReplyDeleteIs the first paragraph your summary/setup, or is it part of the actually narrative? If the first, then it's fine. If the second...then...well...it seemed like a story summary. That other big paragraph felt that way a little...but only a very little.
ReplyDeleteI think that the last two lines were great. I agree with Kathleen. If the first paragraph was not a set up, then I feel like it was an info dump, but at the same time this is a jump into a scene and not sure what was happening right before. I'm intrigued by the title and who these two are and their connection beyond this kiss. Very sweet kiss though.
ReplyDeleteI really enjoyed this, especially the last bit. :)
ReplyDeleteIt's lovely that the girl makes the move. I love it.
ReplyDelete