The first sentence was an immediate hook. By the end of the second I was ready to leave, but that's my issue, not yours. I think this probably would work very well for people who like this genre (which is a fantasy cross of some kind, maybe?).
The first sentence definitely has a hook, but I don't see how the second sentence connects with it, unless the bound and gagged goblin is already dead.
The animal names made me frown a bit, but they wouldn't keep me from reading on.
Yes :o) I'm interested. Keep writing.
ReplyDeleteWolf was right—the dead were irresistible.
ReplyDeleteLeopard flexed his hands and squatted in front of the bound and gagged goblin emperor.
This is a grabber! I don't normally like this kind of fiction, but I would keep reading.
I'd definitely keep reading. Good showing of the genre, setting, and introduction of the MC. Smooth, and flows well, too.
ReplyDeleteI'm interested, though slightly confused--if the goblin is dead, why bother to bind and gag him?
ReplyDeleteNice :)
ReplyDeleteNot my thing.
ReplyDeleteI'm not sure--I'd have to read blurb to keep going. I'm sure this is just me, but the animal names kind of threw me.
ReplyDeleteThe first sentence was an immediate hook. By the end of the second I was ready to leave, but that's my issue, not yours. I think this probably would work very well for people who like this genre (which is a fantasy cross of some kind, maybe?).
ReplyDeleteI'm definitely interested. Unique opener. :-)
ReplyDeleteThanks, everyone! :D I appreciate all the comments!
ReplyDelete(Yeah, it is dark fantasy. ;))
The animal names are unique to the two characters, but I was wondering if so close together that would be confusing.
Suppose I better get back to it now after recharging my brain. ;)
Ta!
~Merc
The first sentence definitely has a hook, but I don't see how the second sentence connects with it, unless the bound and gagged goblin is already dead.
ReplyDeleteThe animal names made me frown a bit, but they wouldn't keep me from reading on.