Thursday, March 29, 2018


TITLE: The Shoemaker's Daughter
GENRE: YA Retelling

He despised dancing, but a dance would save his life. Connor ran away to avoid dancing. He ends up at a ball in which the vindictive queen banishes the princes to an island, held by magic until they become proficient dancers. Their partners, the twelve mixed-race princesses, are tools to punish an old heartache. Connor unknowingly holds the key to break the spell. A unique retelling of the Twelve Dancing Princesses with a male protagonist.


  1. This sounds really interesting and I love retelling. I don't think you need to have "unique" before retelling however or mention that it has a male protagonist. Maybe go into depth more about what will happen if he fails. Good luck!

  2. I like this. I feel like you could cut the sentence and add In a kingdom/country/world where your ability to dance dictates your place in the world (or something like that).

  3. I'm guessing Connor is a prince here but I can't tell. If he is, you need to say this. If he isn't, you need to clarify his role in this story so we understand why he needs to break the spell by doing something other than learning to dance. It would help to know the stakes, too. Will these princes be stuck on the island forever if they don't learn to dance? Is it really hard to dance which is why the need the spell broken?

    Finally, you should clarify whose heartache this is. His? The queen's?

    Good luck!