Thursday, March 29, 2018


TITLE: The Wishkeeper's War
GENRE: YA Fantasy

Prison rat Scian brokers a deal with an enemy to end oppression by the Wishkeepers, a holy order of women who channel divine will by granting three wishes a year. They murdered her mother, banished her family, and Scian plans to return the favor.

Wishkeeper Rowena seeks to unmask, destroy the conspiracy. To stop Scian, she must choose between her religious ideals or her ruthless training. Two heroines, one winner in THE WISHKEEPER’S WAR.


  1. Sounds like some trying situations for these two. What, though, gets in Scian's way? Does the deal she brokered 'with an enemy' complicate her mission? I'm not exactly clear on the opposition between Rowena's religious ideals (if they are responsible for oppression) and her ruthless training. I like the idea of two heroines, one winner, though it probably isn't as simple as that. I'm interested, but want more details.

  2. I think your reference to "the favor" is sarcastic but it doesn't read this way and seems confusing instead. Also, I think there's a word missing in your 3rd sentence. And I don't understand what this conspiracy is and how Scian is a part of it. Maybe this is because you're assuming that we know that "the favor" is the conspiracy. I'm not sure.

    Good luck!

  3. It's hard to know who is the protagonist in this pitch. At first it seems like Scian, but then then tables turn a bit and perhaps it's Rowena? Which side is good and which evil? Or perhaps that's the point - are we supposed to be left guessing?

    I prefer to know who I'm rooting for.

  4. This is an interesting idea and I would read further. However, I'm confused about who the protagonist is. It almost sounds like Scian is an opening scene with Rowena as the main character. If that's the case, skip it and focus on the problem of the story.

  5. I like the idea of two heroines, and I'd want to see how you manage to make that work. It would definitely set it apart from other stories in this genre.