TITLE: Wide Open
GENRE: YA Contemporary
There’s only one reason Liora agrees to go on her class senior trip: she promised her daddy before he died that she would be adventurous, despite her crippling social anxiety. She soon finds herself lost in the Smoky Mountains with a hippie, a tennis player, a photographer, and a fisherman, none of whom have the survival skills she has. She must overcome her insecurities and lead the group back to civilization—before they starve.
I really like this. I don't think I'll ever get tired of survival stories. I like the details about the people she is lost with. Good luck!
ReplyDeleteVery interesting premise! The only real suggestion I can think of is to shorten it a bit? Maybe add "Social phobic Liora" at the beginning and remove "despite her crippling social anxiety". Otherwise I loved it!
ReplyDeleteIs this going to be anything like 'Hatchet'? That's a baseline for survival stories; having it be with a group of people would make it more interesting. I don't know if any sort of comparison would be accurate, but it's worth keeping in mind.
ReplyDeleteI do wonder how big a problem starvation is, when the group includes a fisherman (but then, I've never been in those mountains!)
This is exactly the kind of story I loooove to read! My one big suggestion is to make the stakes more specific and more urgent. For example: When the group veers off the trail and finds themselves lost in bear country with no way to reach the outside world, Liora's the only one who can find the way back home. With the group's food quickly running out and bad weather threatening, Liora has to find a way to talk to the others or else no one will make it home alive.
ReplyDelete-Gail Nall
gailnall.com
This sounds intriguing,kind of like 'Hatchet' meets 'One of Us is Lying' meets 'The Breakfast Club'. Nice job!
ReplyDeleteI love it! Please send the query, synopsis and first two chapters to nicole@goldenwheatliterary.com. Thanks!
ReplyDelete-Nicole Payne, Literary Agent at Golden Wheat
This is really good! The only thing I'd like to know is how she acquired these survival skills if she's socially insecure. Is she obsessed with a computer game that teaches this? Does she love to watch shows like Survivor (if it's still on...I don't actually know!) This little tidbit would help us believe she's qualified for this task.
ReplyDeleteGood luck!
:-)
Holly
This isn't my cup of tea. but the pitch is compelling. I think others have said that some insight into how she learned her survival techniques would make this better.
ReplyDeleteI agree about suggesting how she gained her survival skills. The main difference between your story and Hatchet is that your m.c. is female, which is a definite advantage.
ReplyDelete