GENRE: YA Psychological Thriller
It’s Black Mirror meets Pretty Little Liars when sixteen-year-old Fin Bailey creates Jane, her perfect virtual best friend, and finds out the hard way that things on the internet live forever. Jane takes on a life of her own, posting pictures that Fin didn’t create—pictures that implicate her in a series of horrible accidents—and Fin has to stop her before she reveals an even darker truth.
Hi! Well I'm certainly intrigued! One suggestion would be at the end "she reveals an even darker truth"- maybe switch the "she" to Jane? That would keep the pronouns super clear.ReplyDelete
Also, I'm curious if the implications of the horrible accidents are also true? Or are those fake set ups, but Fin also does really have a dark secret?
This a little bit hints at some sort of Gossip Girl, all-seeing internet persona vibe too, and I'm digging it.
Sounds intriguing! I'd love to the first 50 pages of this.ReplyDelete
I'd love to see a synopsis and the first 50 pages.ReplyDelete
Completely hooked! I particularly love the line "finds out the hard way that things on the internet live forever." Very creepy and foreboding! No critiques from me.ReplyDelete
Love the sound of this! Please send your query + first 3 chapters my way to consider further :)ReplyDelete
This sounds really cool. My favorite line- things on the internet live forever. The possibilities here seem endless. Good luck!ReplyDelete
Can you please send me your query and the first 100 pages to my email below?
I love this! No advice on improvements, I think it's great.ReplyDelete
Really, really good! The very end of the last line didn't read as well as the rest, but as someone said just changing the "she" to "Jane" might help there. First sentence hooked me.ReplyDelete
Oh this sounds really cool! I’d love to see the first 50 pages + a synopsis. You can upload everything via QueryManager: QueryMe.online/1005/ABBlogpitchReplyDelete
Could you send query and first ten pages to email@example.com. Thanks!ReplyDelete
The Bent Agency
Love it! Definitely grabbed my attention. I think those comp titles would garner a lot of interest.ReplyDelete
Intriguing. Please email your query + 3 chapters + synopsis to firstname.lastname@example.org, and include "Birthday Blog Pitch" in the subj line. I look forward to reading!ReplyDelete
Sounds awesome! Please send the query letter and manuscript to email@example.com. And include Birthday Blog Pitch in the subject line. Thanks!ReplyDelete
Great premise! Congrats on the requests!ReplyDelete
I'm a little thrown by "and finds out the hard way that things on the internet live forever." Does this happen before Jane takes on a life of her own (and if so, how has she come to the end of forever before this even starts?) Maybe you need to reword to something more exact.ReplyDelete
Aside from that, I'd like to know more about how Jane knows her secrets. Does she have access to her hard drive or her memories or her Facebook messages or something?
This is so cool! Please send your query and first 50 pages with the subject line "Requested Materials" to firstname.lastname@example.org. I can't wait to take a look!ReplyDelete
I absolutely love this concept.ReplyDelete
It's like the Bff concept but with traits of single white female.
Would love to see exactly what happens.
Thanks for the feedback, everyone!ReplyDelete
Very nice post really ! I apperciate your blog Thanks for sharing,keep sharing more blogs.ReplyDelete