TITLE: Here Comes the Sun
GENRE: YA Contemporary
THE SACRED LIES OF MINNOW BLY meets DEVOTED. A sixteen-year-old girl must decide whether to stay in her conservative Fundamentalist Latter-Day Saints community with views she's questioning and be forced in an unwanted marriage or leave and lose everyone she cares about and risk homelessness.
This hits all the high points, but I can't figure out what prompts the initial concern. In my experience, people don't question their views (religious or otherwise) without some outside force helping them: a disaster making her question God's existence, a friend outside the faith, etc. Whatever it is, it'd be a big thing, and should be mentioned if you can fit it in. The reason for why she's questioning things could affect the outcome and tone of the book a lot.
ReplyDelete(Of course, having never read the book, it's possible I'm wrong. Take this with a grain of salt.)
She starts questioning them once her dad marries his sixth wife and she meets someone on the outside. Maybe I should have submitted one of my other pitches to this contest. Thank you for the advise. It will help me decide which to use in Kidpit! :)
DeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteI think this sounds intriguing, and do think you should include the 6th wife info.
ReplyDeleteProbably. I'm definitely going to make some changes to this pitch. :)
DeleteAgreed with everyone else that it does need to say what it was that made her question her faith. I didn't think of that earlier. >_> But I like that this one shows what the stakes are, being the unwanted marriage.
ReplyDeleteThank you :)
DeleteI'd love to read more! Please email your query + 3 chapters + synopsis to lauren@triadaus.com, and include "Birthday Blog Pitch" in the subj line. I look forward to reading!
ReplyDeleteThank you!
DeleteI'd be happy to see a query and the first 10 pages of this. Please follow our submission guidelines at the Andrea Brown Literary Agency website, where you will also find my email. In the subject line, write QUERY: AUTHORESS.
ReplyDeleteJennifer Rofé, Andrea Brown Literary Agency
Thank you so much!
DeleteThis is a tad heavy on adjectives. It also tells us nothing about the plot. I assume this story is about more than her making a single decision. If so, tell us what it's actually about.
ReplyDeleteGood luck!
Holly
Thank you!
Delete