TITLE: Violet Ray and The Magnetic Pole Reversal
GENRE: MG Science Fiction
When 13-year-old Violet is left on her island after her mother leaves for the Andromeda Galaxy, she has to deal with an annoying guardian named Cat Ion. Their mutual dislike is tested when the Earth’s magnetic poles reverse and they are cut off from any communication. But when mysterious invaders arrive and Cat Ion is captured, Violet must save him, or her island will be destroyed.
Very interesting idea! Only part I'm confused about is who Cat Ion is to her? Is it a she or he? Alien creature or human? I think this would help clear things up if its a potential love interest or more like a pet. ;-)ReplyDelete
This is great. I agree with Sarah about adding who is Cat to Violet. I'm not sure how saving Cat will save her island... Good luck!ReplyDelete
Cool! Perhaps you could make it tighter by getting rid of the magnetic pole reversal section.ReplyDelete
I'd be happy to see a query and the first 10 pages of this. Please follow our submission guidelines at the Andrea Brown Literary Agency website, where you will also find my email. In the subject line, write QUERY: AUTHORESS.ReplyDelete
Jennifer Rofé, Andrea Brown Literary Agency
Sent! Thank you!Delete
I'm a little confused about the connection between Cat Ion and the future of her island. Does Cat Ion have some kind of magical powers that can save the island? And I agree that I'd like to know if Cat Ion is an actual cat.ReplyDelete
Aside from that, I think you can tighten the first line to something like, "When her mother leaves their island for the Andromeda Galaxy, 13-year-old Violet is forced to obey an annoying guardian named Cat Ion."
I like your suggested rewrite. Thank you! That's helpful.Delete
I'm not sure how saving Cat saves the island (interesting name...confusing though, especially since that's a typical 'romance' setup but she's only 13 and Cat is her 'guardian' so I'm thinking not a romantic thing going on? Maybe?). And why is the island important, are the no other islands they can simply go to? Or is there something there the invaders want and they must protect? Finally, this pitch might be even better with just sentences one and three, excising sentence 2 completely. Good luck!ReplyDelete
I too was a little confused as to what or who Cat Ion is? I dont think it is clear enough in the pitch. It could be that it is a person, but because of cat I automatically assume its a cat. It may well be so I think it needs to be clearer. Otherwise a great pitch. Good luck!ReplyDelete
I like the fun concept. Clarify the character and relationship of ION the Cat before submitting your query. Congratulations BTW!ReplyDelete