TITLE: Amirah and the Red Scarf
GENRE: NA Fantasy
When demon-wolf huntress Amirah’s grandmother is brutally murdered -and her sacred book stolen- she must sacrifice her enchanted red scarf to stop a formidable enemy from using the book, granting him eternal life. Dark twist retelling of LITTLE RED RIDING HOOD
Ohhhh I want to know more- especially about her enchanted red scarf. Love this story idea! Great job :)
ReplyDeleteWhat a cool retelling idea! I think this is a solid pitch. Definitely intrigued!
ReplyDeleteThis sounds like such a cool retelling! My only nitpick is that you may want to use Amirah's name more. With 'her' and 'her grandmother' and 'she' and 'her' there, it sounds like Amirah must sacrifice grandmother's red scarf on a fast read.
ReplyDeleteI'd definitely read this. Nice work!
I am a big fan of retellings, and am very intrigued by this, particularly what the sacrifice of the scarf means, beside stopping the bad guy.
ReplyDeleteI would agree with Alaina, to clarify if the scarf is Amirah's or the grandmother's.
Nice job!
I love dark retellings...my main critique of this is maybe we learn too much. If we already know she sacrifices the scarf to stop him from using the book, what conflict is left to discover? Does this create new problems? Is there a journey involved, or other things she must accomplish to stop him? Does she need to get the scarf back? Great start!
ReplyDeleteThe subject of your sentence is the grandmother which makes it sound like she's the main character here.
ReplyDeleteAlso, I'd HIGHLY recommend that you make this YA or Adult. NA really doesn't exist anymore.
Good luck!
Holly
Love the premise. I would try to reword some of the phrases, maybe split it up into more than one sentence. Good luck!
ReplyDelete