TITLE: Seven Riddles to Nowhere
GENRE: MG Mystery
Kam, a selectively mute seventh grader, must solve riddles on a scavenger hunt through Chicago to earn an inheritance and save his Catholic school from closing. If he fails, he'll be separated from the only friends he's ever known and forced to return to the public school that wants him in special ed classes.
Love it! In addition to being a good logline and a good concept, I think you hit on something kids might relate to. The MC seems like a noncomformist who needs to learn to live within society without losing himself. I think that's really relateable for the age group. Good luck!
ReplyDeleteI like this a LOT. The stakes are clear and the MC seems really interesting! I would totally read this!
ReplyDeleteIs there any way you could identify the villain/link WHY the fate of his school rests upon a scavenger hunt? I think it would deepen the tension for sure to do this.
ReplyDeleteI think this is great. All the questions I have just makes me want to read the book.
ReplyDeleteI like this, too. I especially am intrigued by why Kam is mute at times. The end of the pitch made me really root for him.
ReplyDeleteI agree - why would the school depend on him solving a scavenger hunt?
ReplyDeleteOther than that, I like this.
Nice job. Very clear. I love the idea of a kid on a scavenger hunt. Very cute. To clear up what others have questioned about the inheritance and saving the school maybe just change it to "to earn an inheritance that can save his Catholic school from closing." That is of course if I am reading it correctly. I am thinking that he will use the inheritance to help save his school. Good luck!
ReplyDeleteThe premise reminds me of 39 clues. The log line is clear. Good job!
ReplyDeleteI was also wondering why a scavenger hunt, which sounds like a game, could save a school from closing down, which sounds very serious. That was my only concern--I think this is well-written and gives the information you need to give, otherwise.
ReplyDeleteMaybe at the end, consider "wants to put him in special ed..."
I like your logline, but... Being a person with physical challenges myself, I'm wondering why there is a revulsion to going to special ed classes. In some cases these can help. Provide a reason why this isn't the case. And make it good, 'cuz lots of parents today have their children in special ed and there should be a reason for this aversion.
ReplyDeleteYour logline is good, but... being a person with a physical challenge, I'd wonder about the aversion to special ed classes. Many parents today have their children in these classes. Provide a reason for the aversion, or a person involved who causes trouble.
ReplyDeleteThis is okay but the two seemingly unrelated goals don't mesh for me. Why does earning an inheritance save his school and why would a scavenger hunt get him an inheritance? Is there an evil antagonist behind this? If so, you need to explain how Kam is fighting this person in order to achieve his goal.
ReplyDeleteI agree about the comment on spec ed classes. Give him something to hate that we can relate to (for example, he doesn't want to go to a school where he'll be an outcast or have no friends or where he used to go but was bullied before).
Good luck!
Holly