TITLE: Down into Darkness
GENRE: Science Fiction
When linguist Brian Marconi contacts the subterranean Sulcan aliens on Ganymede and finds his predecessor dead, he must keep himself alive in the hostile alien underground long enough to convince Earth not to sacrifice him in an all-out attack on the Sulcans.
I'm immediately inclined to like this because of it has a linguist hero. ;) Nice job. You might include a brief explanation for why Earth is inclined to attack the Sulcans, for a little extra clarity. Good luck!
ReplyDeleteI also wondered why Earth was attacking, but I wanted to chime in even though others mentioned it because I think this sounds really intriguing! Good luck!
ReplyDeleteI think this is fabulous. Agree with the other posters. My only nitpick is that I might break it into two sentence since you're imparting a lot of information. I had to read it twice, slowly, to let it sink in. Maybe that's a commentary on my own brain capacity, though. ;)
ReplyDeleteThis is quite good. The word "contacts" confused me as I thought this meant he telephoned or radioed them, but then the rest sounds like he is actually on Ganymede (which, I assume, is where the hostile alien underground is located). I think you should clarify these items. Otherwise, it's good!
ReplyDeleteGood luck!
Holly
It sounds like an exciting story but I worry that the names trip up the flow of the sentence. I found myself stumbling over them and getting distracted. I do like the linguist hero though. That's different.
ReplyDeleteThis sounds like an exciting story, but I found this a bit confusing. The word 'contacts' suggests he's contacting them from afar, but then it sounds as if he's there. Also wondering why the aliens are hostile and why Earth would sacrifice him, since I guess he went there not knowing any of this. Are the aliens trying to kill him also? Did they kill his predecessor?
ReplyDelete